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#3083 - 06/29/18 02:29 PM
Re: Submissive or Fetishist? Which are you?
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Sage
Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1058
Loc: Detroit
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As always a very clear and insightful set of thoughts from you Mistress Ayn.
I think you hit the nail on the head in every part of your post, although I would suggest breaking up the list of submissive/fetishist differences into 5 - 2 line groupings instead of just a list of 10 before posting to your blog. I just found it harder to read it the way you posted it and didn't realize at first that each set of 2 lines were grouped as comparisons rather than just a list of dimensions of each type of client.
The only thing I would add is that you do speak about how some fetishists move into submissiveness over time, but I have definitely had some Dommes create fetishes in me that make me approach certain Dommes as somewhat of a fetishist. My best examples are foot tattoos and heavy rubber/latex bondage.
I see different Dommes for many different reasons, but if a Domme has a foot tattoo they jump right to the top of my list (although even with that it needs to be on the foot, and preferably the top, rather than the ankle). For these Dommes, I make a very fetishist style session request about the shoes she wears (non-strappy high heel pumps that show her foot tattoo) and the way we begin/end the session. Throughout the rest, I am my normal shaky submissive self but I literally drop deep into subspace as we get started when she has me kneel and place a kiss on the tattoo. It is also the thing I ask for her to have me do as she dismisses me as it leaves me floating for hours afterwards.
Instead, if a Domme is well known for heavy rubber/latex bondage (which also means all of the proper, and very expensive, equipment that goes with it), then that is literally what I am going to see her for. She can do as she pleases with me once I am heavily bound since that is definitely a lot of the fun but I don't want to waste any of our time with body worship (which I generally love) or corporal or even rope bondage before we get to that. It always works because nobody invests in that stuff unless they absolutely love it so I am still pleasing her, but it is different than my normal approach of not directing any part of the session.
The one question I do have for you is where do masochists fall into the fetishist/submissive scale and are they actually a 3rd class? My experience is that this is more often the case with female masochists than males, but some people are just heavily into S&M only. D/s annoys them and they hate to be dominated, they have no interest in role play or bondage (except to hold them in place while they are being hurt) and especially not discipline (other than being beaten). Instead, they almost fetishistically wish to experience multiple and deep levels of pain along with the marks/bruise/soreness that they can look at and feel long after the play is finished. This might put them in the fetishist category, but they generally don't care about the implements used or the positioning, just the feel of the pain and the rush of endorphins that drives them to take more. Which translates into a more submissive attitude of handing over control of how the Dominant will get them there.
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Asp
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