Among the guys I know who have gotten caught, or else just were sloppy in their protocol, I suspected they subconsciously wanted to get caught, too... Anyway, great advice and always worth thinking about. Some comments:

Originally Posted By Mistress Ayn

1. Have a "play" phone that is only used for this type of communication. Keep your personal/work phone clean.


I think whether a play phone works better than a 2nd line (google voice, Sideline, Line2, TextMe, etc.) on your regular phone, is a matter of circumstances. Your wife finds a 2nd phone -- well, there's no more obvious indication that you're up to funny business, than that. If I find my wife has a 2nd hidden phone, I'm going into absolute red alert.

If you do have a 2nd line, among the things you should consider: 1. turn off all notifications so it never rings or displays that you've gotten a text, 2. log out of it except when you're free to check messages, 3. password protect it, and/or consider using an app-hiding app to hide it completely from the app drawer.

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2. If you do use your regular phone, don't text a provider and tell them not to text you. Texts can be answered long after they are initiated and your partner might be sitting right there when an incriminating text pops up. Alternatively, turn off notifications.


Agree... there are so many options these days. Get a free 2nd line on your phone and keep it shut down, no excuse not to do that, do not put it on the provider to know when to text you and when not.

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4. Communicate with your Domme what type of communication is okay and what is not. However, this is not infallible - refer back to the above suggestions.


While I think that's a great idea, also agree with your caveat. Anyone can make a mistake, and a domme has lots and lots of clients, easy to make an innocent mistake of thinking you're texting one person and you're in someone else's text string, etc. As the client, my rule is: if a small innocent mistake by a provider can ruin my life, I've fucked up royally, because everyone makes mistakes. I should be taking my own safety into my own hands: 2nd line, notifications shut down, fake email address with notifications shut off on that, etc.

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7. Never put the address of a dungeon into the GPS of your car. Find a business address that is close and use that.


Really good advice. When it comes to location, the other thing I always did is have an explanation as to why I was in the area, and often I'd tell my then-wife in advance. "Heading into the city today to have lunch with Bob and then check out Bass Pro Shop" (or whatever). I figured lots of things could happen that could place me in the area -- I could get into an accident, I could run a red light that has a camera and the pic and ticket are mailed to my house, etc.