Amazingly I only know of 3 instances in all these years. One was several years ago - he and his wife are still separated due to it. The other two happened within the last 6 months. One was so tragic I am still a bit of a mess over it.

In all 3 situations, I truly believe that the subs wanted to get caught on some level. In the first situation, the sub purchased items for Me on a credit card he knew his wife would look at and actually pay. He and his wife used to play D/s games together and she suddenly stopped. I think it was his numbnuts way of confronting her. The only problem was he could have put Me in the crosshairs too and that's not cool. I don't want to be investigated or deposed in a divorce case. Thankfully she didn't blame Me.

In the second case, the sub engaged in a lot of texting with providers (both Domme and escort) and did not have a passcode on his phone. A provider asked him about this once and he said his wife wasn't curious in that way. Who doesn't have a passcode on their phone - even if they are not trying to hide anything? I don't know a soul who does not have a passcode on their phone. Again, this sounds like someone wanting to get caught even if non-consciously. Of course, eventually, providers starting receiving nasty texts from that phone sent by the sub's wife. I have a strict no text policy, so I was spared the nastiness, but several others were less fortunate. This was actually one of My favorite subs and he ended up taking his own life.

The last case is a real head-scratcher. The sub said that "somehow" email conversations between us were "accidentally" posted to his vanilla facebook profile which he seldom used. Of course, someone promptly notified his fiancee of this - a few weeks prior to the wedding. I still don't know the final outcome of this, but I hope they were able to sort it out.

It's ironic how subs often seem paranoid that the Domme will somehow out them when in My experience, the sub does a pretty good job of that himself.

My suggestions:

1. Have a "play" phone that is only used for this type of communication. Keep your personal/work phone clean.
2. If you do use your regular phone, don't text a provider and tell them not to text you. Texts can be answered long after they are initiated and your partner might be sitting right there when an incriminating text pops up. Alternatively, turn off notifications.
3. Set up a "play" email account. Keep your vanilla account clean.
4. Communicate with your Domme what type of communication is okay and what is not. However, this is not infallible - refer back to the above suggestions.
5. Unless your banking is completely separate, don't use services like paypal, cash.me, etc to send deposits or tributes. Amazon gift cards paid for by cash in a store are the only completely anonymous way to transfer payment. (The code on the back can be given to the Domme for redemption.)
6. Make sure you are logged out of all social media on your phone when entering a dungeon or provider's location. Apps like Facebook have been known to track your whereabouts and then suggest you become friends with someone that was also logged in at that address. That particular program is insidious.
7. Never put the address of a dungeon into the GPS of your car. Find a business address that is close and use that.

I am sure this list is not exhaustive, so if anyone else has suggestions, please post here for the common good.