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#2552 - 07/28/17 01:20 AM
Re: Flavors of Subspace
[Re: The Thomas]
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Sage
Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1058
Loc: Detroit
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So... I read this when you first posted it Thomas and I've just been too busy with other things to get on here and reply to a great topic and post. The word "subspace" gets bandied about a great deal. While there is no doubt that it is a very real experience I believe it is not a singular phenomenon that differs merely in intensity. Instead I believe it comes in a variety of different flavors. I generally agree with this assessment as I have experienced two different flavors (as you put it) with one of them actually having two different intensities that are very different but I still consider them to be of the same flavor. Many of my sessions produce at least 4 different types of Subspace.
First there is presession subspace. Strange as it may sound the two most intense episodes of subspace that I have ever experienced were thinking about the session before it started. In both instances I couldn't sleep which ironically had a negative impact on the session. My neurochemical speculation is that this is mostly a combination of testosterone and adrenaline. For those less maso and more subby the vasopressin plus oxytocin combo probably plays a part. I love the anticipation, planning, prep and ritual of my pre-session experiences... especially when a Domme places me under their control and provides instruction prior to our meeting. I actually enjoy it when I have to make a long drive to a session (meaning several hours) because of that anticipation and fully devoted thought. When I have the proper time to prepare, I even focus on breathing exercises and relaxation techniques to help drive myself into the proper headspace when I walk in the door (and doing some type of "service" like picking up a small gift, flowers or even coffee helps with this activity). However, I cannot say any of the feelings that I have had pre-session has ever reached what I consider to be subspace. I definitely know that I neither feel the effects of testosterone or adrenaline pre-session but I am also not a maso or into humiliation. I can't speak to either vasopressin or oxytocin because I don't understand how those present themselves in my body. Then there is session subspace. Added to the chemicals that produce presession subspace there are the endorphins. This is where I think maso subspace differs from other subspace.
In many CP sessions there is a bifurcation of my consciousness into one part of me that wants it to end and another part that wants it to continue. When the session is over there is what I call immediate post session subspace. This is the most different flavor of subspace. It is a strong feeling of relief and relaxation. In its most intense forms it is like the world has been recreated anew. My speculation is this involves GABA and serotonin.
Endorphins can be a great part of my subspace if released slowly throughout the session, but it is also the thing that can totally kill a session for me. Endorphin release is the thing that will make me call RED rather than the actual sensation of pain which I can generally endure. The problem is that I am hypersensitive to endorphin rushes and it makes me physically ill when it happens. Basically I get extremely queasy and will come close to puking or passing out (along with the attendant "turning white" and "flop sweat"). When released slowly through CP/NT/Electrical or even as part of a "runner's high" from the physical stress of a session endorphins do meld with the subspace I am feeling. However, my normal subspace comes from a complete and almost meditative focus on the sensations being driven into me by the Domme. Therefore, I think the post session subspace that you describe is actually my session experience and the chemical components are more likely the GABA and serotonin that you identified. In my experience there is normal subspace where I am unable to really think and I don't have total control over my body. But, when it changes to the more intense form it is like I am dropped over a precipice and literally everything falls completely away. Basically the only way to describe it is that I feel completely and ridiculously stoned. Generally, I can't even walk or stand in this state and have no ability to speak at all. This can occur when I am not even experiencing torture or pain so I can't say it is when the endorphins meld with everything, but it is the type of high I believe that heroin brings you so it may be associated more with dopamine than endorphins. However, the other flavor of subspace that I have only experienced once was even more devastatingly awesome than what I have described. The only way I can describe it is tantric in nature rather than the completely dulling pleasure of the other flavor I naturally feel during a session. I don't know about any specific chemical basis for this but have seen references to DMT (although these references seem unscientific and confused since in most cases since they touch on psychedelic drugs, tantra and near-death experiences). And lastly there is next day subspace. Having trouble sitting the next day can once again arouse erotic feelings though still with a tinge of contentment that is hard to explain to someone who is not a maso. I am not a maso so I can't understand this "dipping back in" by the reminders of pain although I do experience contentment and a general sense of well-being after a session until something breaks it. Sometimes subspace can linger for a long time afterwards for me (up to a couple of days). This is especially true when I have time to allow it to breathe and settle in after the session (having a long drive home is awesome for this) or if I am given post-session tasks/instructions so I feel I am still "in service" and under the control of the Domme even if there is no physical proximity. Again, for me, testosterone has no role in this feeling (although it does if the instruction is to "complete" for the Domme... in which case, testosterone plays a part in that activity).
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