I personally believe the usage has morphed into current use from the idea that generally, women are concerned about aging and men are concerned about being experienced, particularly in their perception of being attractive to the opposite sex. I see many instances of women saying, “Don't call me 'ma'am,' it makes me sound/feel old.” Usually men don't mind being called 'sir' as they feel the maturity and experience implied by its use makes them more attractive than being youthful.
Oh, of course; I'm aware of this. But it's not so much women worried about aging being attractive, it's men being worried about women aging and being attractive. So, they have trained them to be feel more comfortable with being degraded and infantilized as an exchange for desirability and assigned worth.
The use of 'girl' or 'boy' being offensive is mostly interpreted by context and/or intent. Generally the term when used to refer to adults implies attitude as well as actual age. By context or intent, it can be used to negatively imply low status and/or immaturity. It is in those cases, being offended is justified and correction is appropriate.
I agree. Calling women you don't know "girl" and "miss" is both individual and group-level social reinforcement of what I mentioned above.
"I'm not a girl, I'm a grown woman." This is more often than not met with laughter."
That may be due to your assertion of the obvious—they know you're a grown woman. Just the statement 'I'm not a girl' is enough to admonish the reference and they have to be outright rude to use it again.
I feel your “Please don't call me 'miss'. That's an honorific meant for young girls." comment also lectures them on the obvious and dilutes your objection. I would suggest something like, “I prefer Ms., thank you” would get the message across. The 'thank you' implies they will comply.
No need for any tutelage as I was oversimplifying. How I actually respond -- kind, curt, The Wrath Of The Bitch Goddess -- depends on the nuances of the situation. Kind people who obviously have never thought about this and really mean to be polite are treated kindly, perhaps receiving not a "lecture" but "education", sometimes in the form of a playful joke. Men who who obviously need to be put in their place are introduced to the Bitch Goddess. I'm reasonable and fair, you know.
I hope my comments aren't inappropriate as I don't know the situations you've encountered. They are just honest thoughts I had when I read your post.
I think you mean well, chuck. You don't know me and are making assumptions on the little I've written here. I know that. No worries.
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