I was surfing “Domme Twitter” with my coffee this morning, my typical morning routine. I saw a post calling out a “Domme” for a post that essentially said “why should I provide aftercare, they deserve abuse, not care”. I was surprised to see a number of people echo that sentiment. Kudos to the couple of Dommes that jumped in and called out that thinking.

Anyway it caused me to reflect a bit on my journey over the years playing with Pro Dommes. First off I’m thankful I started before the Twitter era. I think social media (Twitter, TikTok, etc) has created a bit of a cesspool where there are some amazing, awesome Dommes but also a lot to watch out for.

It also made me thankful for this forum and having a place where bdsm, femdom, etc can be discussed in a rational, insightful way.

But it really caused me to be thankful for the amazing Pro Dommes I’ve had the privilege of playing with. Way too many to list out here, but sooo much fun over the years and a lot of learning and growing (I hope) on my part

In particular I think of my “big 3” right now. Mistress Trinity https://www.mistresstrinitynyc.com/, Goddess Alanis https://www.goddessalanis.com/ , and Miss Victoria Cayne https://victoriacayne.com/tattooed-philadelphia-dominatrix-introduction/ . Dommes I have know and played with over multiple years. Three people who I know can/will go super hard in play, are as sadistic as they come, but I know will always be genuinely concerned about my well being - physical, mental, emotional. To quote a former boss of mine “I’d trust them with my passport at the airport”. So when I read tweets from “Dommes” saying their subs deserve abuse, not care. I think of these wonderful women and how lucky I am to get both abuse and care.

And the vast majority of the Dommes I’ve played with over the years have truly all fit in this category of just being unbelievably awesome. I guess what I’m really trying to say in this post is I’m thankful for the amazing ProDomme community that exists and creates such a fun place to play and grow. So for every “Domme” that is lighting their sub on fire (yes that was an actual tweet/video), or conflating care and abuse, I’m thankful for the actual Dommes out there and for the experiences they’ve given me.

I saw that exchange on "domme Twitter" as well. There's just such a divide between the online findom crowd, some of which is genuinely misandrist and borderline sociopathic in general, and pro dommes who play face-to-face in real time and were brought up within BDSM culture and learning various protocols, whether those by SSC, RACK, etc. And I think some people get turned on by the former. Like you, I'm fortunate to have played with dommes who embody the latter.