Part of the definition of fetish is being different, special. If everyone has a fetish for something is it really a fetish? (You can't convince me there is a breast fetish.)

An ex partner called this the "White-cotton panty principle." This is the idea that one can get so far into elaborate lingerie, leather harnesses, layers and layers of latex, that you come around and the simple elegance of cotton underwear becomes sexy and exotic.

I thought of this when I bought a box of white, powdered, latex gloves the other day. Many years ago I worked to find the special, black, disposable gloves to add something extra to the look of my sessions. Now they are the norm. One can buy them in any drug store. Somehow the box of basic disposable gloves seemed really cool, sexy, and interesting--definitely adding to medical play.

In the past year, I've been studying shibari. I love all the ritual and mindful consideration of rope type, rope placement and connection. It has been a stimulating journey. Conversely, I am currently re-intrigued with the "Damsel in Distress" type bondage I learned 20 years ago with cheap, hardware-store rope and silk scarves. It's so down and dirty, cheap and easy.

How is your evolution going? Where are you from where you started? What ideas fell away and what remained? What reappeared after a long absence?

Idk if this counts, but I used to really love high heels especially high heel boots on a Domme in a session. But lately I really just love sneakers. Did a session with a Domme wearing an old pair of Keds and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

I still love backless high heels, especially clear open-toe backless high heels.

I only serve one Mistress now, someone I have known for years. She’s under the radar now, no ads, private. She hurt her foot last fall and her doctor advised not to wear high heels anymore. She was willing to wear them at beginning of sessions. I said no. Since then she’s been wearing white backless sneakers with a slight wedge when I drive her to run errands, no matter the weather, or in session. Strangely it drives me crazy, as if they are high heels. (She also has sexy ankles. LOL!) Who knew sneakers could be a fetish?

This is really timely for me. It’s a long story I’ll try to condense. I’m a boomer born in the 50s. My earliest memories are of crawling on the floor at my mother’s feet while she was wearing high heels and tan nylons. Thinking about it maybe she was dressed up and going out and I was hanging on to her but truly I have no idea. I just remember the heels and stockings and brushing up against her legs. I’ve had and still have a huge fetish for high heels and nude nylons and from there grew all my submissive and masochistic fantasies which became pretty extreme, many which I lived out and some due to my circumstances which I couldn’t but still desire. Tbh I could never understand how sex could be desirable or enjoyable without a Femdom context. I think I did my first session when I was around 30. Over time the original nude nylon/high heel fetish became a bit less important and the other activities became the focus and I give Troy Orleans a lot of credit for that but that’s another story.

Now the interesting part. Up to recently I would still make the request for nude nylons and high heel shoes and if I do see someone new I still would. The fetish hasn’t gone away. I’m still in good shape but as I’ve gotten older my body just can’t take the beatings and rough treatment that it could even 10 years ago. Still desiring sex in a Femdom context I would seek out FS providers who also did some bdsm. Recently I started seeing someone and our first couple sessions were sensual but still D/s focused. However I noticed that I was truly attracted to this woman in a “normal “ sexual way. This is something I don’t think I’ve experienced before. I’m genuinely surprised by it and also happy and kind of fascinated in an introspective way. She still leads and I’m open to what she wants to do when I see her but my desire for her when I see her is not D/s focused at all. After 70 plus years this is something I never expected My BDSM desires are still strong and the idea of a world bdsm tour starting in Paris is still a fun fantasy i would like to do but it amazes me that this has happened after all these years.

buffalo--your story and my story are dead on the same. And you say it so well. Thank you for that!

DominaM asked "How is your evolution going? Where are you from where you started? What ideas fell away and what remained? What reappeared after a long absence?

Evolution from the start: from seeking a wide range of experiences from many different Dommes to the wish for one woman who I can serve with commitment, and love in and out of a femdom dynamic relationship. Of course the chanes of finding that at any age is a long shot, so in my 70's it won't happen. But then we all do live in much of a fantasy world so it will be okay.

Ideas of travel and meeting international Dommes, first discovered in DDI magazine, and racking up a hundred experiences are long gone. So is rough physical play and intense whipping. But fetish and desire are forever. Her stockings and heels will always captivate me but only her demeanor and interest in me as a person will result in Her "owning" me. Devotion and commitment follows.

[Rereading my reply makes me think I should head over to Fetlife and explore what's possible.]

How fun. I think this is a perfect example of that theory. Geeze I used to live in Keds when I was young.

Sometimes it's the foot, sometimes it's the woman attached to the foot.

High heels only exist so dominatrixes can walk across your chest and back.

Their great for pressing against a your face, holding him still, while she sits on your throat, and does cbt with her hands.

How blissful it must be to move about the world not caring a thing how others experience you.

Domina M, a very wise observation. I gave this about 24 hours before responding and realized, for me, it has always been about the woman attached to the foot. I thought about the Mistresses I have served and I came to the realization I only have done real foot worship with four ladies over the years. All of them indulged me and wore backless high heels of some type - some clear, some open toed - and no stockings. (For me the backless high heels has always been the sound and the metaphor of the foot being just about naked… seduction. Not worshipping the shoe.) I never liked shoe, boot or high heel worship. Fear of germs.

One of the Mistresses from the late ‘90s with gorgeous feet and high arches, took the time to train me on how to worship feet a slow and sensual way. I had a good relationship with all four ladies and considered it, and still do with my current Mistress, a compliment that they let me perform that type of intimate worship because they really did enjoy it, as I did, and still do with my now one and only Mistress.