We all have them. Those intriguing fantasies that would just be impossible to do. Or just too complicated to justify the ends. My fantasies don't have to comply with physics or physiology, but I do live in the very real, unforgiving world of gravity and possible nerve damage.

I am lucky to have some private partners who understand when things go wrong when I experiment, yeah, we all have to pack it in. Despite what my advertising might lead you to believe, I am not infallible and all-knowing.

Professionally, I am constantly curbing expectations and even rejecting sessions because I know they won't go well. It is important to create positive and amazing experiences. This example, from several years ago, stands out as a clear example of how I work to temper people's ideas.

He wanted an hour session of:
15 minutes in the vacbed.
Golden shower.
15 minutes of inverted suspension.
Golden shower.
15 minutes of intense verbal humiliation until tears.
Golden shower.
15 minutes of puppy play.
Golden shower finish.

Whew. Funny. I could actually do this. I am actually physically capable of creating this scene to this specific outline, but . . . Not only would there be massive prep and clean up, and the manic energy to exicute this scene would exhaust me for the rest of the day, but I CAN'T HAVE PEE ALL OVER MY BEAUTIFUL, CLEAN DUNGEON. Pee games are for the end and right before the shower. I'd never get it out of the leather.

My selfishness aside, there is no possible way he would enjoy this. By trying to get his "money's worth" for the hour, he would rob himself of any joy to soak in the experience. Not only that, it robs me of my craft to see what is working and adjust the session's flow to match.

We ended up not playing. I still wonder if he found someone to fulfill this dream in under 60 minutes.

Also, I often reject forced-bi scenes because when faced with the reality of it, people really freak out. I find it much safer and more fun to "train" for forced-bi and keep the fantasy going.

What fantasy do you keep in the back of your mind, but maybe the reality wouldn't be so great? It's okay to have impossible fantasies; that's what imagination is for. Conversely, are there fantasies that you thought were impossible that became your reality?

Fascinating subject. I have a few. The first that comes to mind is having a session with two Mistresses. I knew one of the ladies, the other I met at the other Mistress' apartment the day of the session. Both were into the role play of "tarzan" being captured by Amazons. I didn't know which Mistress to focus on and the chemistry was off. It was like a little kid having too much ice cream.

Here's a funny one. I found out that body makeup is not a good idea. A Mistress I knew well had a private dungeon, she suggested I get body makeup that would match my leopard print loin cloth. (Again, it was Amazon / jungle type role play.) I bought makeup, did the best I could applying it and she had me crawling around her dungeon floor of hardwood and some carpeting. After a few minutes I noticed the floor was covered with my makeup. She said nothing and I apologized, ran to get cleaned up and came into the playroom to get dressed. She laughed, "What are you doing? Get the vacuum and clean the floors!" We continued the session after that and it was great.

Finally my longtime Mistress and I have done kink acts - not full sessions - at dawn on warm weather Sundays over the years in deserted public spaces (waterfront, parks, parking lots). I suggested GS and/or worshipping her strap on recently during moments of deep subspace. She didn't reject the suggestions. Aside from smartphones and security cameras, when I considered the logistics it wasn't worth the risk. My Mistress has talked trash about pimping me out when worshipping her strap on, but it is like your quote that it is "more fun to 'train' for forced-bi and keep the fantasy going."

Advice to subs, something I learned from experience, is when you come up with a session idea it is better to think with the head on your shoulders... and not the other one!

GReat post, Domina M. You raise some great points here. I agree on some of the practical stuff about urine everywhere.

But, I want to talk about the scene being too scripted. Let her lead!!! That is my advice to every sub looking to play professionally. Ummm, that is why she is a professional! She will read you and introduce you to new things as the dynamic gets stronger over time. That is what I love about it - trust her, let her lead, no worries! Also, it you let her lead, she is more likely to do things that she also enjoys, and that only builds a bigger and stronger fire! My mistress and I build a fucking inferno every time we play, and that is a principle I always live by - let her plan and let her lead.

As far as fantasies not fulfilled. Cuckholding is one - more her choice more so than mine. But, I will say many soft and hard limits of mine have been busted due to good communication and letting her lead. It gets me off, and it gets her off.

Great post. Thanks for it!

Celeste

This is a good one. Second mistresses can be hot, but another person changes the dynamic completely and it's hard to judge how. 90% of the time I feel like we just take turns with the sub and standing in the corner. The exception was in NYC when I worked with Mistress Nadia who we were just in tune and worked the sub like we were the same person with different incarnations.



I haven't done this specific one, but this is absolutely me underestimating my agitation with keeping things clean and a cool visual idea.



"Trash talk" is way underrated. Saying something because it is hot and enjoying the hotness is, in no way a need for it to correlate with reality. I humiliate and degrade people I respect all the time--because it's hot!



Promise the little head it will be good when you get to the session! Just wait little buddy, let us figure out the logistics.

Your lips to the clients' ears who contact me. I can't say I will make all your fantasies into reality, but I will use them to get you where you need to go. I need both an understanding of your kinks and freedom to judge what is working in session and adjust in real time.

Great point!

Domina M, Thank you for the interesting post !

While not true in every case, I think that first time or relatively inexperienced subs tend to try and hang onto some level of control in a session to satisfy their security/safety concerns which in turn results in an effort to micromanage the session's activities. I think it takes some time, and session experience, to truly feel free to just state a few interests and hard limits, and to then trust in the Domme to craft a memorable time together.

I had a number of sessions with Mistress Troy Orleans of NYC fame early in my BDSM journey and she helped me to completely let go of any unreasonable fears or FOMO issues. She encouraged her clients to play from an attitude of "YES", meaning to be open with her complete control of the session and to be willing to try new experiences that she believed we both might enjoy. Looking back, that makes perfect sense to me because any reputable Domme will have have FAR more experience than I do, and is in a much better position to be the judge of such things than I ever will.

After many years of experience, I think that what works best for me is to only see experienced and reputable Dommmes, clearly state my hard limits and any medical issues, mention a few favorite toys or activities, and to then just buckle up and enjoy the roller coaster ride !!!

Great post. There’s multiple topics I’ll try to address. There’s a few fantasies that I have where I know I just can never do. A really severe whipping or caning is one but I just can’t have the marks and at my age the healing process is a huge issue as is permanent damage. I also fantasise about undergoing a severe beat down from a strong athletic skilled martial artist or wrestler. Again at this point in my life the negative consequences resulting from this are just not worth risking.

As far as forced bi scenes go I’ve had a few. I never hesitated. I had one Domme tell me afterwards she thought I was going to balk but I never considered it. The thing is I always felt that this type of scene would be the ultimate humiliation but in reality it wasn’t at all. It wasn’t a turn on or turn off either and I think I was disappointed I didn’t feel what I expected. TIn 2 cases it was just another experience but the third was so crazy and surprising that at the end I remember just laying on an outside balcony and lmao. I think I’ve mentioned it on Max before. It’s a story in itself and too long to describe right now.

For me it is post orgasm play or punishments. I've actually done this a few times in a CNC context (private play rather than a Pro Domme session) so I can say I love the fantasy but hate it while it's happening.

Strangely though, not long after experiencing it I'm drawn to the idea again....even though I know it's definitely in the "Be careful of what you wish for" category. .....very confusing.

As to your question about scenarios that are just too complicated or impossible I guess longtime (weeks not hours or a day) confinement featuring intense training/conditioning. Great to fantasize about but one of those things that should remain a fantasy even if it became possible.

I have a love/hate with post orgasm torture. I see a Domme regularly who absolutely loves it, so we’ve been incorporating it for years. Still not my favorite but I’ve grown to tolerate it.

Semi-related, I had a play partner (non pro Domme) surprise me with a really hard kick to the balls when I wasn’t looking - outside of play. In the moment (as I was writhing around on the floor lol), I found it humiliating and not fun/erotic at all. But interestingly after, I find it like the hottest thing ever and one of my favorite memories. Similar experience with ruined orgasms. Hate it in the moment, but love the memory

On the too complicated front. I had planned out this really elaborate scene where the Domme was role playing a sorority pledge who seduced an unsuspecting frat boy (me), restrained him and then proceeded to live stream herself to her sorority ballbusting/cbting the hell out of me. Super hot fantasy, was a bit hard to bring to reality

Great thread. Love the stories/thoughts

I am quite familiar with MTO. . She is what YES looks like.