Domina M, Thank you for the interesting post !

While not true in every case, I think that first time or relatively inexperienced subs tend to try and hang onto some level of control in a session to satisfy their security/safety concerns which in turn results in an effort to micromanage the session's activities. I think it takes some time, and session experience, to truly feel free to just state a few interests and hard limits, and to then trust in the Domme to craft a memorable time together.

I had a number of sessions with Mistress Troy Orleans of NYC fame early in my BDSM journey and she helped me to completely let go of any unreasonable fears or FOMO issues. She encouraged her clients to play from an attitude of "YES", meaning to be open with her complete control of the session and to be willing to try new experiences that she believed we both might enjoy. Looking back, that makes perfect sense to me because any reputable Domme will have have FAR more experience than I do, and is in a much better position to be the judge of such things than I ever will.

After many years of experience, I think that what works best for me is to only see experienced and reputable Dommmes, clearly state my hard limits and any medical issues, mention a few favorite toys or activities, and to then just buckle up and enjoy the roller coaster ride !!!