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#22820 - 04/24/25 10:18 AM
Sub skills and talents requirements
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Artisan
Registered: 03/25/16
Posts: 57
Loc: Southeast, USA
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Hi, hi!
I'm in the midst of updating My protocols and procedures for a sub that I am considering and it got Me thinking about skills and talent requirements.
For example, one skill that I would expect all long-term subs (collared, service subs, pets) to know is "how to greet a Dom/me" or how to approach a Dom/me to ask "how they would like to be greeted." Another is sub positions -- Understanding each Domme may have Their own take on which positions the sub should know. I think a few positions could be considered universal.
Some "talents" I would expect a long-term sub to know is how to lace a corset or how to put their Dom/me's shoes/boots on without having Them struggle too much. I also recall a sub tell Me he learned nail applications. Another revealed he developed a mastery of massage and Reiki.
Dom/mes - What are some skills/talents You require? subs - What are some skills/talents you learned for your Dom/me?
_________________________
I am the lock and key to your sexual liberation. GC Sexuality Liberator ???? Worship is My love language! follow. love. worship. My Website Twitter/X Blysky
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#22852 - 04/30/25 12:31 AM
Re: Sub skills and talents requirements
[Re: GoddessCapri]
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Sage
Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1094
Loc: Detroit
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I leaned massage (including both foot & hand massage) all the way back in high school as a skill to help me get laid, but it has definitely been invaluable as a service to Dommes over the years.
I think learning about the care and feeding of latex & leather goods, as well as basic repairs, are an incredible skill set for a sub to have since wardrobe is so important to Dommes (especially Pros).
Photography / Videography, including how to properly light a space, and post-production (especially the use of editing tools) are incredibly valuable for service to any Professional Domme as well as the ability to do hair & makeup before any shoot (it makes a huge difference & is valuable to all Dommes).
Any online marketing, SEO, social media or other computer/technology skills are great for service to Pro Dommes, but just the ability to do research is great for any Domme (for example, I've been asked to find a good English speaking dentist in Mexico or to find out the process to apply to be a performer at some event over the years even though I know nothing about either of those things).
The ability to cook (for those that cross the dungeon threshold into the real world) has been incredibly valuable to me as a sub, whether it is just to make a simple sandwich or to throw together a full meal for her and her friends has proven invaluable. Earlier this year, I was staying with one of my Dommes & she had to take a family member to the hospital. Well, I knew she hadn't had any dinner and they wouldn't be done until well after midnight so I whipped up something with what she had at her place & brought it to them when I went to pick her up.
Knowing how to properly clean things both from the perspective of what chemicals/products to use on what materials & how to use them (do you apply this with a cloth or a paper towel.. should you use a scrubbing pad, etc...). Same goes for the ability to build things or do small repairs (incredibly valuable both inside the dungeon & out). When I visit one of my Dommes who has one sub who runs a construction company & another who is a professional woodworker, I absolutely did nothing to contribute to that project but at another's place I've replaced a door lock & hung shelves so they are level because it was beyond her.
As for service itself, paying attention to your Dommes needs is the #1 talent/skill a sub can have. Examples: Getting a refill for her when you see her glass is almost empty at a party. Always having a protein bar in case she gets too busy & her blood sugar drops; having her preferential tampons/pads or "Extra-strength Excedrin" (because that specific brand is what helps her) in your bag on the off-chance your visit coincides with her period. Always keeping in mind her dietary restrictions/needs (could be she is Vegan or allergic to cinnamon or even that she just doesn't like onions) so you can grab the right thing from a store; etc...
Another less thought of, but incredibly important skill is being able to leave her the fuck alone when she needs her alone time. I am self sufficient & don't need to be entertained. Again, I remember being & staying in the same hotel room with a couple of Dommes on a particular tour. They were great friends & wanted to just spend time together to bs in the bedroom, so I just went into the living room of the suite & watched pre-season football until they wanted something, then I would immediately get it for them & return to the TV. I've also had many Dommes just need a nap & so I just leave the room & figure out how to waste time while being on call.
I wish I could say I had all these skills but my ability to be given a task & complete it (most of the time) without having the Domme supervise every second us truly invaluable. One Domme wanted me to gold leaf a privacy screen & I literally had never heard of gold leaf, but I figured out how to do it & it turned out great.
Sorry for the lengthy response but I love the question & wanted to give you ideas that night be beyond what you had considered before.
_________________________
Asp
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#22885 - 05/01/25 04:02 PM
Re: Sub skills and talents requirements
[Re: GoddessCapri]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 865
Loc: Philadelphia
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Dom/mes - What are some skills/talents You require? I don't require skills or talents within a professional context. I keep it professional and don't ask "lifestyle" things of my clients. Things I enjoy/desire/prefer: I like subs to submit and to be emotionally mature. Intelligence is a big plus. A sense of adventure and interest in being experimental is also a big plus.
Edited by Mistress Tissa (05/01/25 04:03 PM)
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#22931 - Yesterday at 10:44 AM
Re: Sub skills and talents requirements
[Re: AspX]
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Artisan
Registered: 03/25/16
Posts: 57
Loc: Southeast, USA
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Thx for the input. This is very thorough and appreciated insight. I love it!!! I leaned massage (including both foot & hand massage) all the way back in high school as a skill to help me get laid, but it has definitely been invaluable as a service to Dommes over the years.
I think learning about the care and feeding of latex & leather goods, as well as basic repairs, are an incredible skill set for a sub to have since wardrobe is so important to Dommes (especially Pros).
Photography / Videography, including how to properly light a space, and post-production (especially the use of editing tools) are incredibly valuable for service to any Professional Domme as well as the ability to do hair & makeup before any shoot (it makes a huge difference & is valuable to all Dommes).
Any online marketing, SEO, social media or other computer/technology skills are great for service to Pro Dommes, but just the ability to do research is great for any Domme (for example, I've been asked to find a good English speaking dentist in Mexico or to find out the process to apply to be a performer at some event over the years even though I know nothing about either of those things).
The ability to cook (for those that cross the dungeon threshold into the real world) has been incredibly valuable to me as a sub, whether it is just to make a simple sandwich or to throw together a full meal for her and her friends has proven invaluable. Earlier this year, I was staying with one of my Dommes & she had to take a family member to the hospital. Well, I knew she hadn't had any dinner and they wouldn't be done until well after midnight so I whipped up something with what she had at her place & brought it to them when I went to pick her up.
Knowing how to properly clean things both from the perspective of what chemicals/products to use on what materials & how to use them (do you apply this with a cloth or a paper towel.. should you use a scrubbing pad, etc...). Same goes for the ability to build things or do small repairs (incredibly valuable both inside the dungeon & out). When I visit one of my Dommes who has one sub who runs a construction company & another who is a professional woodworker, I absolutely did nothing to contribute to that project but at another's place I've replaced a door lock & hung shelves so they are level because it was beyond her.
As for service itself, paying attention to your Dommes needs is the #1 talent/skill a sub can have. Examples: Getting a refill for her when you see her glass is almost empty at a party. Always having a protein bar in case she gets too busy & her blood sugar drops; having her preferential tampons/pads or "Extra-strength Excedrin" (because that specific brand is what helps her) in your bag on the off-chance your visit coincides with her period. Always keeping in mind her dietary restrictions/needs (could be she is Vegan or allergic to cinnamon or even that she just doesn't like onions) so you can grab the right thing from a store; etc...
Another less thought of, but incredibly important skill is being able to leave her the fuck alone when she needs her alone time. I am self sufficient & don't need to be entertained. Again, I remember being & staying in the same hotel room with a couple of Dommes on a particular tour. They were great friends & wanted to just spend time together to bs in the bedroom, so I just went into the living room of the suite & watched pre-season football until they wanted something, then I would immediately get it for them & return to the TV. I've also had many Dommes just need a nap & so I just leave the room & figure out how to waste time while being on call.
I wish I could say I had all these skills but my ability to be given a task & complete it (most of the time) without having the Domme supervise every second us truly invaluable. One Domme wanted me to gold leaf a privacy screen & I literally had never heard of gold leaf, but I figured out how to do it & it turned out great.
Sorry for the lengthy response but I love the question & wanted to give you ideas that night be beyond what you had considered before.
_________________________
I am the lock and key to your sexual liberation. GC Sexuality Liberator ???? Worship is My love language! follow. love. worship. My Website Twitter/X Blysky
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#22932 - Yesterday at 10:51 AM
Re: Sub skills and talents requirements
[Re: Mistress Tissa]
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Artisan
Registered: 03/25/16
Posts: 57
Loc: Southeast, USA
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Heard - I'm speaking primarily in reference to clients who would be looking for something more long-term (which I'd personally consider lifestyle adjacent), i.e. training programs, contracts, life coaching/development, etc. I don't require skills or talents within a professional context. I keep it professional and don't ask "lifestyle" things of my clients. Thx for the input. Things I enjoy/desire/prefer: I like subs to submit and to be emotionally mature. Intelligence is a big plus. A sense of adventure and interest in being experimental is also a big plus.
_________________________
I am the lock and key to your sexual liberation. GC Sexuality Liberator ???? Worship is My love language! follow. love. worship. My Website Twitter/X Blysky
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#22941 - Today at 02:46 AM
Re: Sub skills and talents requirements
[Re: GoddessCapri]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 865
Loc: Philadelphia
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I'm speaking primarily in reference to clients who would be looking for something more long-term (which I'd personally consider lifestyle adjacent), i.e. training programs, contracts, life coaching/development, etc. I understand what you mean but I still like to keep my personal life and lifestyle needs separate from my work, so I don't like to ask my clients to try to provide lifestyle needs for me as part of our sessions, whether it's for a single session or over a several-year period. Training, as in submissive, is something I often do whether someone asks for it or not. Most of the people who come to me really need it. lol Life coaching I offer but have very clear boundaries about how I provide it. Sometimes a client is struggling with something related to some kink they're exploring with me and I may offer ad hoc counseling in small doses, or, if they need a longer, more serious talk about it they can schedule a coaching session, But the kind that is really more like serious counsel/"therapy"? I don't mix that with those for whom I have an erotic relationship. It's not ethical. For those people I'm either their counselor or their Domme, not both.
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