Actually, since the Google machines definition of empirical is "based on, concerned with, or verifiable by observation or experience rather than theory or pure logic", your theorum was based on empirical data ... although, as a proper, creepy perv I will still take every opportunity to observe your butt.

I actually wrote a much longer response (which I am posting below since it was still in my clipboard) then sorta made the same type of decision thinking I was just nattering on (as I tend to do) & the better/funnier response was just the opening line.



See? Empirical data says I took a left turn & that what I actually posted was the better response, however that is for your butt to decide.

I agree, but as a sub, I have to say my humor has literally been beaten out of me by Dommes when I try to inject it into a scene

As for the rest of your response, I don't disagree with any of what you said (other than being nitpicky about your exception... but think that is just because of your phrasing rather than what I think your intent was) but am just not sure how that goes to the entitlement of this newbie findumb vs Michelle's or my own resppnse/reaction to it.

"Financial domination" is a genuine way to exchange power and can be very sexy to play around with but I don't think these people are Dominants. They're spoiled brats.

"I’ve seen 3 dommes announce they’re leaving this morning ????" is cute. Each question mark is proportionate to lack of knowledge about how all of this works.

This is reality, Mistress Nancy. It's a sink or swim world.

Maybe she's only 22 and hasn't been around enough to know that.



*claps in Mistress Michelle Lacy's direction* She was very kind and professional in her response. I would be tempted to be snarky. Something like, "Instead of complaining that subs aren't, what word did you use? Ah, yes "spoonfeeding" you, try working harder." I know, not nice.



"Last year"? LOL!! I have a pretty good feeling that if I were to ask her to define D/s she would not be able to in any meaningful way. "The Domme tells the sub to send her tribute and he does. The Domme is in control and the sub is supposed to do what the Domme tells him."



...assuming she's telling the truth, of course. Sure, maybe she did make a grand online one day, by just asking for it. And that's what she thinks is supposed to be normal. No effort, just guys handing over chunks of cash. But there are also people who lie about their successes as a form of marketing. Photos in or on luxury cars, in front of private jets, on top of a pile of cash...and none of it may be real. It's just marketing.

I should do some marketing that shows reality. Me, vacuuming out my Jeep. Me, in glorious gritty Philly, cleaning the trash out of the gutter on my day off. Me laughing at the cost of Louboutins and paying my electric bill with my FootDom session. You know, Real Domme shit.



If that's someone's two-hour rate then, yes, your math checks out.



This is very true. Some Dommes are excellent, even extraordinary, and they may not make as much as the so-so Domme. Why? The so-so Domme markets herself in a way which appeals to the "lowest" common denominator.



I absolutely agree with her. Imagine an attorney going onto social media and whining about how people need to step it up because they put so much into researching their cases and filing paperwork and fighting for you in court and people don't understand that.

This "Domme" is obviously in some kind of panic mode. It might be because she's realizing that her looks will only take her so far, that this isn't as easy as she thought, and maybe she's not very good at it. I think being a FinDomme is something that pretty much no one can expect to support them full-time. Even as a Domme that runs actual sessions you have to have skills to make it a full-time career. If you don't have any skills -- regardless of what industry you're working -- you won't last. Even models have to be good at modeling.



I do, too. I used to talk about it on Twitter. That FinDommes are people who learn just enough about things to cosplay being a Domme...which is not the same as actually being one.

This discussion also relates to one of the reasons why I wanted BDSM Professionals to be a place for classic/traditional BDSM providers. Between sites that group us with other types of providers (who often do very different work) and social media distorting and diluting what BDSM actually is, I wanted to have a place for people who are really into BDSM. So, no FinDommes.

Yea... it was the start of a long discussion where she (and her findumb echo chamber) seriously defended & echoed that sentiment as their real opinion over & over (although a lot of that just came across as them taking the opportunity to bitch about client behavior... which we all know generally sucks). so I didn't see it as performative.

Also, how I posted it all as a quote makes it seems like it was all a single tweet rather than the reality that each paragraph was it's own tweet in a series. That was an editorial choice on my part to make it more readable here but lends itself to your question.

This is an interesting categorization.

Mine would be:

Alpha Dominant

Dominant

Service Top

Fetishist

In short:

I'd make a separate category for the Alpha types versus "standard" Dominant people. I think we, as one who identifies as such, have a particularly strong, Dominant personality.

"Standard", for lack of a better word right now, Dominants likely have Dominant personalities but might tend to be more yielding or lack some of the personality characteristics that Alpha types have.

In my opinion, based on several conversations with people and my own observations, that several people who identify as a Domme are actually service tops. How much is "several"? I don't know. I just think it's probably as common as people who identify as submissive and are not but are actually "just" a bottom.

Then we have Fetishists. I think by and large FinDommes are really money fetishists. It's all about the cash. There is no interest in the craft of power dynamics, as we understand them in BDSM, and the psychology of eroticism. It's just "How hot is it that I ask for $20 for pizza and this dude gave it to me!"

I'm not sure it matters whether this is marketing or this person is just kind of...clueless?

There are many ways to "stimulate" business. You can try to make your clientele feel guilty or you can get to work.

That is the word I was looking for.

Can't agree more... Financial Domination is a true, valid & very powerful fetish. Weirdly, I have experienced that firsthand from the "Dom" side in the last year when a guy I was friendly encouraging in a kinky way was literally begging me to let him send me money (eventually, I allowed him to buy some clips & was able to observe just how much he got off on me "forcing" him to spend $10 for something I specified).



Don't know her age but she is definitely what we all would consider to be a newbie. Although another part to consider is that this woman is English rather than American, where culturally & historically it has been a much more prominent part of the BDSM scene.



Hard agree that this was an amazing response by her & that dichotomy between a long-time Pro & a relatively new Fin was actually the catalyst for my original post here.



I actually used the calculator on my phone & double checked it online on two different websites before posting but I still don't trust technology or the whole concept of math it is all based on, so thank you for the sanity check Mistress



Oh, you should just have your subs do that stuff for you. *ducking & running for cover at the level of annoyance this ignorant & dumbass statement always evokes from experienced Dommes*

OMG... I think my coming up with the right word rather than you doing it to me is a first

I can retire happy now

Great humor. lol