Entitled Findumb Post from a relative newbie on Twitter



Response from Michelle Lacy



My comment:



That one line from a "Domme" who is a self-proclaimed findom that doesn't have a website; requires a tribute just to message her; & in all likelihood has never conducted an in-person session; pretty much says it for me... except she actually said it even better in a later post :



As if the measure of a Domme is about a scorecard of how much money you make online (or even overall). My math skills may be off but isn't that just a 2 hour session at $500 per for an actual Pro? In either case, how much money you make has nothing to do with how great you are as an actual Domme, some of whom don't make a dime because they live it rather than work it.

There are people in these conversations who understand what D/s dynamics are actually all about, but I highly doubt this woman is one of them. What do you think & do you agree that Michelle Lacy's attitude is the proper way to look at things from a professional basis?

Asp

P.S. Just for clarity, I am an observer of this entire thing who read it because it came across my feed when I was looking for free porn (which is the only reason I still have an account over there) rather than someone involved, and especially not whatever a-hole guy (easy enough to recognize that kind of "sub") threw insults at her. I brought it here because I think the subject is on point for this board rather than "venue-shifting" because I have some kind of beef beyond a general dislike for the entire findumb community & their attempts to steal the definitions of D/s from the lifestyle & Pro/client community.

Entitlement is not a business model.

I have for some time been for some time been thinking of doing a post which would divide Femdom into 4 provinces:

Lifedom

Prodom

Clipdom

Findom

Each of these misconceptions has distinctive features. Misconceptions can arise is these are ignored. Initially I was going to focus on clipdom. For one thing I hoped to finally demolish the "It happens in sessions. I have seen clips" non sequitur.

Eventually I would turn my targeting radar on findom.

I am not sure that clip dom is it's own province of Dommes, other than the fact that both Pros & Fins do them. I just don't know of any examples of Fin that don't do clips.

I might be too focused on semantics (After all these years, I think you know I have a tendency to that) but if you are talking about the elements of Femdommery (yes Virginia, DumbAsp just made up a word... but he's "special" so we just smile, nod & ignore that), I would break it down to five actually & drop the "dom" because it seems like that is categorizing the person rather than the activities that a Domme would do. My breakdown would be:

Lifestyle

Session

Financial

Clip

Online/Remote

I think that will be an interesting topic but it deserves it's own thread rather than being buried under this one.

It definitely shouldn't be

Unfortunately, it that findumb world I think it absolutely is & a very successful one. There seems to be a very strong client base who wants women who are as entitled as possible... that's why gooner culture is so annoying.

Personally, I don't have a problem with that itself (unless someone tries it on me). I have a problem when they call it D/s like its what D/s is all about. Unfortunately through their domination of social media, they have trained a whole generation to think that is what D/s is rather than just another subculture within it no different than spankos or foot guys or rope bunnies.

I noted many years ago pivot points in domme's careers where they either grow or exit. They are a follows:

3 months in
"Wait. This isn't just being paid for being a bitch?"

1 year in
"This takes way more time and money than I thought to get sessions."

5 years in
"Maybe I don't want this to be my career."

10 years in
Burnout, break down, time to touch grass

20 + years in
Find a live/work balance, learn to give 0 f's.

Source: Completely pulled out of my butt

Looking at your example's twitter it would appear she's a year in and realizes she has to invest a lot of time an money and the ROI isn't what she thought it would be. To be fair, I've seen MANY men convince women to become dommes because "fetish guys are stupid and will simp for anything." It's some weird pimp fantasy or something. I dunno. It's wrong whatever it is. The kink community has its newbies, but for the most part is quite savvy and craves authenticity.

Well, I definitely upvote the birthplace of your source material & have done so for many, many years

Hah! It seemed funnier to type that rather than "This is what I feel I have observed rather than backed by any empirical data."

No disrespect to anyone meant, but is it possible that the first quote is just part of an online stage personna that some prodommes and many findommes do?

Is it meant to be taken seriously beyond stimulating a fetish for more business?

That is one of the funniest lines I’ve ever read here
or any other site I’ve joined about BDSM ever! (There
is a shortage of humor in this scene, in my opinion.)

About the subject at hand, I may be old school & too
literal, but when a sub sees an ad or website with a
woman offering BDSM for a fee, it is a service. If you
contact the Domina since your interests - in person,
In dungeon / hotel, etc., online or phone/text; fin dom,
specific kinks, etc., etc. you are a client, a customer.
Check reviews etc. before the first session.

About the dominatrix, it is none of my business how she
runs her operation, what her business model is, etc.
I don’t need or want to know about her life outside of
work, if she’s married or not… unless you become a
true regular and she shares details about her life. It’s
none of my business.

The only exceptions would be if her life outside of work
effect her performance in session. Or, if the relationship
with the Mistress evolves and becomes a lifestyle
situation, which is a completely different discussion.