Is Femdom therapy? Yes, I think it can be. Though sessions probably don't fit the technical definition, for me they can be extremely therapeutic. A great session gives me a huge mental and emotional reboot and a fresh perspective on life, but only when done correctly and with the right person. For me, the person on the other side of the whip, and the quality of my connection to her are extremely important. There should be no sub drop afterwards, no sense of sadness or longing when the session is over. When I’ve experienced those sorts of emotions, it's been because some aspect of my emotional connection with the Domme in question was unhealthy. After a spectacular session, I should be on cloud nine—happy, relaxed, fulfilled and smiling at everyone I meet. Anxiety beforehand and shame afterward should be reduced to the greatest extent possible.

Time with Mistress Victoria Cayne never fails to give me a huge mental and emotional reboot. In fact, I had the most incredible time it’s possible to have with her last week. It never ceases to amaze me, but our sessions just keep getting better. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, due to financial obligations that forced me to stay away for several months. It had been so long, I was literally trembling with need.

She was a tad strict with me in the beginning, making me strip and get on all fours to wait while she changed. I was so hungry for her dominance, just the sound of her boot heels made me whimper like a pup. Goddess came out dressed to the nines, in knee high black leather boots, black stockings, a short, black leather skirt, a light, see-through top and a strap-on harness, with a big black cock sticking out of it. Just the sight of her was enough to send me hurtling into subspace.

She told me to kiss her boots and I did so with relish, giving them a good tongue polishing. All the while I was whimpering, moaning and making doggie noises, because I was so turned on and so incredibly happy to see her. She didn’t have to tell me what to do, she just pressed her bbc to my lips and I commenced eagerly sucking it, my head bobbing up and down as I tried to see how much of it I could take down my throat. I couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like inside me.

Mistress had me get on the bed. She unzipped her boots and pressed her stockinged toes to my nose and lips. I love the way her feet smell, especially when they're fragrant. I was in doggie heaven, sniffing and kissing them, moaning, whimpering and worshiping her with rapt adoration. While I did, her hands were all over me...*happy sigh!*

“Remember doggie’s first milking?” she asked with a smile, and began doing the most incredible things with her fingers. MVC’s an expert and seems to know my body better than I do. I cried out in ecstasy, as she teased me to distraction, savaged me with rapture and ravaged me with bliss. Soon, I was a hot mess and deep in subspace. There are many things I can’t reveal for the sake of modesty, but suffice it to say that Mistress kept me guessing the entire time. That is one of the many things I love about her.

“I come to a session with fifteen different ideas,” she said afterward. “I just go with the flow and do what I feel.” It was a glorious day, truly a feast for the senses. As it always does, our time together gave me a huge mental and emotional reboot. I was totally and completely blissed out afterward. My heart was overflowing with joy and I smiled at everyone I met. Whether or not sessions are technically therapy, my time with Mistress Victoria Cayne increased my happiness ten fold and gave me a more positive outlook on life. Come to think of it, I don't think even therapy did that.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for another perfect day, Mistress!

Adoringly,

kbb

(Note - I copied and pasted junglebeast's reply when I moved this post to the reviews section. -kbb)

kbb,

Thank you! I needed to read this today. Yes, at it's best, femdom is therapy, especially when you know the Mistress very well. Wonderful things do happen. I had one session where both the Mistress and I had such a cathartic session we forgot about the tribute, and when she said goodbye to me with a hug and kiss on the cheek as I left her apartment we both remembered at the same time and laughed. I flew back home with joy. I had a session with a touring Goddess I knew well, scheduled it two weeks in advance, but when the day came I was emotionally off due to my job. (Layoffs... luckily I was able to talk management out of it a week or two after the session.) Met the Goddess in her hotel room and she went to change in her bedroom, I decided to leave, and mentioned it, but she saw my distress, and said, "Stay here, I'll be right back." She changed into casual clothes, took me to the couch and asked what was wrong. She listened, gave me advice, held and hugged me. I felt wonderful and relieved as I left. That is the power of femdom in extreme cases.

In the years doing sessions, I've gone through nervousness, guilt, sadness / longing an hour or a day or two after sessions. Maybe it is my old Roman Catholic training! But I have also experienced great joy and satisfaction, even pride when I received compliments from Mistresses during and after sessions.

Mutual trust is the key. As your Mistress mentioned to you, “I come to a session with fifteen different ideas... I just go with the flow and do what I feel.” EXACTLY. One bodybuilder/personal trainer dominatrix I knew who I would see once, twice a year when she traveled, we would talk a week or two in advance about my roleplay. When I got curious as to what we would do, she would not go into detail, saying, "Anticipation is the key, my pet." I sessioned with her for six years until she retired. The Mistress knew me, my roleplay and kinks well, and she was always a joy to session with.

In the past few weeks I've realized I'm at the end of my journey in femdom. I have known my Mistress a long time, and she has been my one & only for several years & it has been a joy, a privilege. I'm of a certain age and looking in the mirror each morning makes me realize that. She is a few years younger than me, but not many, and either her life has changed or I have worn out my welcome. Or both. I'm a client, not lifestyle, and if it ends, I'll be grateful, that's it for me. I need to serve a Mistress I know well. And I realize I've used femdom as therapy, pure entertainment, a reward for good things I've done, stress relief among other reasons. But in the past two, three years I've used it as self-medication for probable mild depression, which is not good. Thank you for asking this question. It has helped me.

Hi Junglebeast:

Good to hear from you and thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad my post resonated with you. People outside the scene sometimes have a negative view of what we get up to, but in your post, I found words like "joy," and "trust," which most would agree speak to very positive emotions. At it's best, I believe Femdom and BDSM can be an incredibly joyful, very positive and genuinely therapeutic experience, at least I have found it be so. I've also seen the other side of it. I get emotionally involved with the dommes I see, and that can be risky. Although they can become extremely personal over time, these are essentially professional relationships, so boundaries on both sides are desirable and necessary. It took me a long time to figure out how to make that work, but now that I have, my life as a client has improved dramatically. Also, the choice of a Mistress is very important to me, much more so than it would be if I were just a casual client dropping by for a quick "wham, bam, thank you Ma'am!" As you said, trust is the key. I trust MVC absolutely, not just with my body, but also with my mind and my heart. You said: "I need to serve a Mistress I know well." Yes. Absolutely. I totally agree with and relate to that sentiment. You also said: "But in the past two, three years I've used it as self-medication for probable mild depression." I can see a session working as a temporary fix for depression, but if you're struggling with even a mild form of that, I'd recommend seeing a real therapist. I had to deal with my issues and figure what they were before I was ready to approach professional femdom in a healthy, well-balanced manner. I found a kink-friendly therapist who was tremendously helpful to me and put me on the right track. I wish you the best of luck with your lady and hope you're able to reconnect with her. Always good speaking with you!

Thanks for reposting my original reply. This is a great topic.

Thanks. I was hoping it would take off, but I didn’t get many responses. Your response was great. I undergo catharsis in session. The experience takes me out of myself entirely. It’s like what happens to the kids in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. I pass through the wardrobe and emerge reborn. (At least I feel reborn, judging by what’s going on with my body these days, that isn’t really true. ) Anyway, it’s a huge release of tension. A great session feels almost like a reboot. I feel joyful, shot out of a cannon, like I could eat the world. After a good nap of course…

Great topic. I feel so much healthier mentally & emotionally after a good cbt session.