“you know, to be really safe you should always carry a bomb on an airplane. Because the chances of there being one bomb on a plane are pretty small. But the chances of two bombs are almost minuscule. So by carrying a bomb on a plane, the odds of your becoming a hostage or of getting blown up are astronomically reduced” - Laurie Anderson

I heard half of all car accidents occur within a mile of your house, so I moved.

Ahh, I could keep going but I won’t. Lol