Applications fees are here to stay. As mentioned before it helps weed out time wasters and those who are intentionally illiterate. The idea of baking the tribute fee with the session rate doesn't work for me.

Requesting an ID is completely fair since every site like loyalfans,C4S, adult sites and the like all require verification and a new form of this too. You'll have to think long and hard about who you are willing to screen with.

I used to openly accept calls on my work phone and quickly realized everyone was just jerking off for free and had no intention on respecting my time. Times have changed and we just want to protect ourselves in the most feasible way possible.

Perhaps if you are upset about the cost of domination, you might look into the laws that make our lives more difficult.

My session form goes directly through my scheduling app when one makes the appointment and deposit. It all happens at once. Again, I don't have to worry about my clients getting me arrested. Session tributes are much lower here in direct correlation to how open one can operate.

Maybe y'all are pushing back against the wrong people.

*waves* Hi. I'm a Domme who "charges" an "application fee".

I started this about 2 years ago. And I wish I would have been doing it all along. Here's why.

There is so much noise that comes with this job.

Guys who call/email/fill out a web form to...

...talk about a session they probably want but vacillate about for whatever reason.

...talk about a session they don't actually want but pretend to for attention.

...talk about a session they don't actually want. Filling out your form IS the session.

...ask you for a date/sex/lifestyle relationship.

...harass and threaten you.

Imagine that most of what comes in falls under the above and that the minority is actually people who are serious about making something happen.

Do you know how exhausting it can be to deal with this? How disrespected we can feel when we put ourselves out there, listen to or read your messages to us, take them seriously, give you the respect and answer you only to discover it's bullshit?

After 8 years of having a part-time job of Bullshit Management I decided to change my practice and put my form behind a tiny little paywall.

You know what happened?

ALL OF THE BULLSHIT WENT BYE BYE.

That stuff above? It doesn't happen when you ask people to send a little something up front to ask for a session.

I'm sorry to all you cheapskates, fickle dicks, and suspicious types but asking for money up front is one of the most effective ways to keep the headaches away.

I am SO MUCH happier since I've started asking for a little "gift" to have access (which I allow to be applied, in full, to the session stuff) and my clients are better quality. I have FANTASTIC clients, who I cherish.

And deposits aren't the answer. For one, they're more expensive. Two, I don't ask for a deposit on a session until we're both sure we want to have one. I don't know if I want to have one with you until I speak to you first. So, I've never asked for a deposit up-front.

The vast majority of people who have sent a little something up front end up becoming clients -- which is exactly. what. I. want. to. happen.

See, I'm serious and I only want to deal with serious people. This has been an excellent way to find those people.

My initial reaction to the concept was "rip off alert/ money grasping" but after reading your well written rational I can see how it makes sense.

I guess subs just need to look at the total session cost all in and decide accordingly.

The only exception I could see would be a simple inquiry about availability for a specific date and time.

Edit.....I see you have your schedule and availability on your website. Great idea and very efficient

That makes sense.

Gawd, I love this post, Mistress Tissa.

From this submissive perspective - Why would you balk at paying an application fee? My mindset is 1.) if I REALLY want to see her, I will GLADLY follow defined protocols. Its the right and respectful thing to do. 2.) I want to please and satisfy my Mistress. Why not do the little things to make her happy and please her. Thats what its all about!


Your last sentence sums it up perfectly:
See, I'm serious and I only want to deal with serious people. This has been an excellent way to find those people.

Serious play by serious people - thats when real connections are made.

Celeste

The cynics are assuming this is about (making more) money. They recommend we add this to our deposit or session tribute instead of having an "application fee". But that doesn't work for me.

Speaking for myself, this is not about finding ways to make more money. It's about using psychology to help me to direct my finite energy on what I actually want to use it on: sessions. Adding it to the tribute doesn't accomplish this goal; I'll still get schmucks using my form for all sorts of things it's not supposed to be used for.



Like anything else.

There are other places in which you're asked to show you're serious, such as: applying for college and renting an apartment (application fee), licensing (registration/renewal fee), buying a house (earnest money). If there's one industry in which is makes sense to check to see if someone is serious and will follow through it's the adult industry!



I like to provide as much up-front as is reasonable. I don't want to use my energy answering the same questions over and over. I'd rather use it to play videos games or something.

Thanks, Celeste. I'm glad you could appreciate it.



You balk because you want to have room to not commit. Because you think that the "customer" should be allowed certain liberties, regardless of how they may distress the person who is granting you those liberties. Or simply because you're cheap.



And this is a wonderful attitude to have, and one I agree with.

If someone really want to session with me, they will gladly send a small gift to show me they're serious about making it happen. It makes me feel respected, which is a great start to a relationship, and, frankly, I know I'm totally worth it.

Any parallels? Are you required to pay just to gauge the appropriateness of an appointment with a doctor or lawyer? Or plumber? Or massage therapist? Realtor?

The application fee seems exploitive to me, something that exists because you can get away with it. I fully understand that many prospective 'clients' are only looking for the excitement of explaining their kinks, and are unproductive time wasters from the Mistress's perspective. But that happens in other personal services also. Not every inquiry results in revenue.

If a provider is concerned about wasted time, perhaps just limit inquiries to email. Scan the email and if it shows any potential, reply. If that doesn't seem to move things along towards possible revenue, then just move on.

But if I have a specific kink that I want to explore I'm not going to pay just to be able to ask the provider if she is comfortable with that kink, in a 45 second email exchange.

I have no problem with a small application fee......as long as it is applied to the cost of my session.