My heart races any time someone mentions Lady Helena at Angel Stern's. I saw her twice in 1998. All she did was talk to me and then cane me. The caning was intense and unrelenting but somehow didn't leave a mark on my body. She didn't tie me down; she just told me to hold my position and not move, or she would bring the cane down with full force on the backs of my knees. I didn't move at all. My body stayed rigidly in place as if I had lost the ability to move. I screamed my lungs out, which she loved. She described my screaming as a "wolf howl". I don't, however, think I needed the threat; her command over me was effortless. I have images stuck in my head of how graceful she was.

At the end of our second (late night) session, we went out for late dinner / early breakfast at Veselka. Our conversation was relaxed and casual but she was unmistakably in complete control. She told me to tell the receptionist the following words when I next scheduled an appointment: "wolf howl merciless caning," and she made me promise to email her soon even if I wasn't ready to schedule my next session because she was going to retire soon. I was young and stupid and waited too long to email her and by the time I had summoned up the nerve she had retired. This is still one of my greatest regrests.