Mistress Ayn,

I must respectfully disagree with your statement. It is not "very similar" to my desire... It is exactly my desire and that connectivity that occurs between Domme and sub when you manage to achieve it during play is not just Domspace and subspace but both of those combined and exponentially multiplied into something that is almost impossible to describe unless you have felt it (which I think we both have at some time).

In my reply to Thomas, I went into a whole bunch of incredibly fun and crazy adventures/experiences... Later, it also made me think of other ones that I had almost forgotten about and didn't include. I loved every one of them (maybe not every moment of every one of them because... there was definitely some REALLY painful torture in there) and those kinds of sessions are the "legendary" ones that impress, inspire, and entertain those around you.

For me, however, the sessions you are talking about don't necessarily come with the greatest story or the most extreme activities (well, not always... cause there was this one time, at band camp...). They just occur naturally in the way that the Domme and sub just link up at that particular time and place. A long time ago I had one of those experiences and I actually wrote about it at FetLife afterwards, so I am including the link if you wish to read it: "Broken".

This is not the only time that amazing connection and loop has ever occurred, nor the only Domme that I have ever connected with on this level during a session (although, to give proper credit, this was the "local Domme" I mentioned in my reply to Thomas), but looking from the outside this was just a normal session rather than one where barriers were broken or new ground covered.

That particular time (and others with other Dommes) do happen after long and well-established D/s play relationships. Some where barriers are broken or limits pushed, as you did with that particular sub today. However, I have also had a first time session that can only be described as tantric in the way we connected with each other (unfortunately, this was the only time I have ever reached that place) and again, there was nothing extreme or crazy about the activities involved. Just right time, place, attitudes, circumstances, etc... coming together.

However, you are 100% correct that the only way to have all those things come together is when both parties are about fulfilling the needs of their partner (or three partners, a very happy clown and a donkey named "Sal"... hmm, I am just obsessed with that band camp story right now). This doesn't generally occur when you are doing things the sub hates (unless doing the things they "hate" actually is part of what they need) or if the Domme is acting as a fetish delivery system rather than being able to be free to do the things she loves.

That does require either a long and practiced relationship or really good communication at the beginning. To be clear, I know that most client subs completely suck at that and that is why your form is awesome. I know that by asking questions and getting different information about fetishes and proclivities it allows you to know what to play to and what to avoid, but it also allows you to correlate the data and know to go to places that the sub doesn't even know they like (ask me if I like humiliation/degradation, the answer is no... but, one Domme was practiced and experienced enough to know that how much I crave intensity and connectivity translated into an amazing experience when she came in close and slapped my face before spitting in my mouth... which was barrier breaking for me at that time).

So, when I say I hate filling out forms it is not because I don't see the benefits of that activity for most people. I say it specifically in relation to ME and that is because I have a well practiced (and I think excellent) way of communicating information to Dommes that I have to completely change to fit into a form... if it is even possible to do so. Don't even get me started on my rants about purely web based forms (which I know doesn't apply to you) that screw-up and I have to actually fill it out multiple times or that never even actually get delivered because of technical issues on the site. In most cases, the form either leaves a lot out of the conversation because it is purely activity based or it asks a question in such a way that it leads me down the wrong path when answering it (I tend to get too literal with answering the question in the form rather than the intent behind it).



Sorry... that quote has nothing to do with this reply, but I just can't get enough of that statement from you. Think I am gonna go get a bumper sticker made so I can see it all the time.

Asp