Background to this post... in a review I wrote I mentioned that I give free reign to a Domme to do as she pleases with me. This is true of even a first session. The Thomas, who I respect a lot, in response to that said the following: "After I have done a few satisfactory sessions with someone I will sometimes tell them, 'Do whatever you like this time.' I would never do that in a first session." Which made me think this would make a really good topic to discuss.

Specifically, as a client sub how do you approach a session in order to get what you want out of it? For the Dommes, what approaches do you feel most comfortable with as a Pro and which tends to bring you the most satisfaction at the end of a session?

My personal approach is that I always clearly communicate physical issues, limits (which for me includes marks) and have safewords. I also have what I think is an excellent list of the most popular BDSM and D/s activities that I have grouped/categorized by how I feel about them (Love them; enjoy them just for themselves; don't enjoy for themselves but do enjoy in service to a Domme, who enjoys having me do them; tolerate in service, but don't enjoy at all; and limits) as well as a list of fetishes that I have. All of this information is provided to a Domme before we ever meet and we may even discuss it at the beginning of a session (my preference is for her to ask any questions she has about items on that list rather than making me try to recite things from my terrible memory).

Once we get through that, I submit and its about TPE within my limits... even in a first session. I am not looking for a facilitator for specific proclivities or fetishes (which I expect fetishists are). Instead, I want to experience what it is like to submit to that particular Domme in all her glory. I want that Domme to completely enjoy themselves while playing with me and hopefully, I want them to find their way to either Domspace or even to their own orgasm (yes, I know this is against "the rules" of Pro Dommes but they are in complete control and making that choice for themselves as a Domme rather than as part of a requested session activity... and if this occurs, it almost never includes me actually touching them or even necessarily seeing them do so).

Does Domspace or an orgasm for the Domme actually occur most of the time? The answer is unfortunately no. However, allowing the Domme free reign is the only way to even approach those goals in my experience and even if she doesn't get all the way there, she does enjoy herself much more by doing what she loves. That enjoyment of me and my service by a Domme is absolutely what drives me during play. It takes me deep into subspace and it is where all of my enjoyment of a session derives from, even if I hate the activities involved.

Which is why I approach sessions the way that I do and know it is exactly the right thing for me,