So, possibly contentious topic…

I saw a well known Domme tweet that she is now requiring application fees/gifts to apply for a session. I’ve seen this a few times lately, seems to be gaining in popularity.

I have mixed feelings on it personally. On one hand, I feel like just bake it into your session rate, don’t charge me an application fee. I’m fine with deposits, but this feels a bridge too far.

On the other hand,if I had to deal with the time wasters and general crap Dommes experience,I’d probably charge application fees too

So just curious if other folks are seeing this more and how everyone ( subs and Dommes ) feel about it

I see that application fees of one sort or another are becoming more popular. Like you, I have no issue with deposits. I can see that deposits are a very useful tool to weed out time wasters and phonies. I would also be ok with paying a relatively small application fee of some sort but only on the condition that it was to be deducted from the total session tribute amount if the session took place. Also, I would only pay an application fee, or a deposit for that matter, to an established and experienced Domme.

Just one word: No.

I agree with nysubjack on the subject, deposits do weed out the time wasters & phonies. If a Mistress wants to charge upscale rates, fine do that. Or increase deposit amounts to 50%. I'd never do it with a Mistress I never met. Or even some I have met.

I have to say that 99% of the time I'd be a hard pass on any Domme requiring this. Yes, I understand that Dommes have to deal with a lot of time wasters but that's part of the reality of the industry. I have no problem with a deposit.

Alternatively, a Domme could offer a brief (15-20 minute) telephone consultation for a fee. I'd have no problem paying for that.

Funny. I just saw someone charging a 50€ application fee on top of a premium tribute. I thought it was strange, but hey, "you do you." I have my thoughts and theories.

I was a late adopter of deposit requirements, and I still have my email/phone on my ads. (Horrors!) I ask for a 20% deposit and have streamlined the process with a scheduling app (more straightforward with the laws here). If someone needs more interaction than simple exchanges, they can have a video phone consultation. This works really well for me and has saved me so much time. Literally, 15-20 hours a week of busy work freed up for me.

Perhaps in the US, dommes are charging a fee because they need further screening? During a recent visit, a domina told me her screening process included a photo ID, social media links, and workplace contact. Yeah, no one in France will do that. Laws here are far from perfect, but I don't have to worry about my clients getting me arrested. With this kind of investment by the domme maybe a fee is warrented.

Domina M, as usual you bring up some enlightening points, some issues I didn't even consider. The comment on France was especially eye-opening. "Laws here are far from perfect, but I don't have to worry about my clients getting me arrested." Years ago I was so self-absorbed if I were going to a first-time session with a Mistress at her private facility or apartment, I always was concerned about getting mugged. Then I finally realized the Mistress really didn't know if I was a cop or up to no good.

I remember the events of 2008 and literally why I left New York.

I completely understand why someone would ask for application fees. Not just does it weed out more timewasters, a client is probably more likely to really read the Dommes website and think about the mutual chemistry before pushing the trigger.

Too often I get applications where it is obvious I am not a good match for them, so much so that their main interests are my clearly-listed hard limits. Maybe if there was something on the line they would've actually checked and not wasted both our time.

Application fees could mean less time wasted, which means more time and energy for the good subs and dynamics that deserve it.

I would be fine with an application fee. If by paying one I'd be starting off on a good note and demonstrating sincerity, it'd be worth it.



I will not do that. I'm sorry, I'm just not cataloguing my kinks on a form that's attached to my ID and workplace contact. No shade on the dommes who require it. I just won't be reaching out to them. So, if an application fee could be an acceptable alternative, I'd rather do that. (Although I think know who the OP might be referring to, and the domme in question I believe doesn't allow relative anonymity either.)

I can see how someone not reading your website would be beyond annoying. I don’t know how you deal with it tbh.

One of the more creative solutions I’ve seen is a Domme whose application has the question “What’s the magic word?” Buried, I mean buried on her website is a single line that says “the magic word is xxx”. She told me only about 40% of applications get it right!