Junglepet, I believe the men of this forum have done an excellent job of advising you. Their advice will probably be much more poignant than any I could give you because they can relate with your feelings better than I can.

I fully agree that you must have a serious talk with your Mistress. I suggest it be face to face, outside of her play space - on neutral ground. Honesty is the best policy. Lay it out for her in painful detail. If she has a heart, she will understand and do what she can to help you let go.

It sounds like the two of you have become friends of a sort. I am sure you are aware of this, but your feelings for her are likely much stronger than hers for you. It's a bitter pill to take sometimes, but it's a harsh truth. It is the nature of the business.

I can't say that I have had a situation exactly like this one (that I was advised of). The closest was a client that had an emotional break due to a wealth of issues (marital, job, alcoholism, etc). He attempted suicide and wound up in recovery. As part of his therapy he was advised to discontinue seeing Me for at least one year. We met for lunch and he told Me the details and I agreed with his therapist. However, he considered Me a friend - he had confided things to Me he had told no one else, he had trusted Me with his body like he had trusted no other. At some point he considered Me the the only bright spot in his life, so it's only natural that he would feel a unique closeness. He lamented losing the "friendship" more than the playtime, I think. So I suggested that we meet for lunch when he felt he had a need to talk and we did this occasionally for close to 2 years. In turn, I removed him from My email list, suggested that he delete his twitter account, etc. There was no need for him to be tempted with things that were forbidden.

If your Domme has a care for you, she will understand and help you "recover". A good and responsible top has a duty to look out for the best interest of their bottoms. Odds are she understands this and will make the parting as easy on you as she can.

The Thomas has good understanding of how brain chemicals fuel sessions and D/s relationships, so you might want to give his advice a try. you have a good little band of friends here and we all wish you the best in coping with this. If I can be of additional help, feel free to PM Me.