Hi Friends:

I thought about putting this post up on Max Fisch years ago, but for some reason I never did, perhaps because it’s very personal. For many years, I thought I might be doing this all wrong. You see, I gravitate towards being exclusive with one Domme almost by instinct, but have sometimes questioned whether that's the correct approach to take. My perception is that folks in the scene try to see more than one Mistress partly for the fun and variety of that experience, but also to avoid potentially unhealthy emotional entanglements. For me, however, an emotional connection is an important part of the equation. I love belonging exclusively to one Mistress. The devotion I feel for her is an important part of the fuel that fires my rockets!

Because my approach to submission makes me potentially vulnerable, I needed to find someone very special to share this type of connection with, somebody I could trust implicitly. It took me a while to find her. If I might use a fairy tale analogy, it was a bit like Goldilocks and the three bears. One Mistress was too cold, the other Mistress was too hot, but after years of searching, I’ve finally found the Mistress who is just right for me!

I also needed to do some work on myself before I was truly ready for this experience. I had to go all the way down the rabbit hole and get my heart broken, not just once but a couple of times. I had to find a kink-friendly therapist and work on my boundary issues before I was ready to serve Mistress Right. It's a tricky balancing act. You almost have to live in two realities at once. As a client, I must always remember that my relationship with my Domme is both personal AND professional. It’s a very unique sort of relationship, like no other I have encountered, and a different set of rules apply. The closest thing I can compare it to, would be a relationship with a therapist or a personal trainer, though it’s much more intimate than that, of course. If you approach a Domme as you would a therapist or a personal trainer, the monogamous model still works. How many therapists or personal trainers does any one person need to see at any given time? Usually just one, I should think.

Now that I have found Mistress Right, I am extremely happy and have been so, not just for a few fleeting moments, but for a period of several years. In fact, it will be six years in January since I started seeing Mistress Victoria Cayne . In her, I have found someone who I adore, but also trust implicitly, someone so highly skilled and versatile that I could spend a lifetime with her and the well would never run dry. Our relationship is very stable, unlike some of the others, which felt like intense roller coaster rides with lots of emotional upheaval. We have an unbelievably great connection. What can I say? I’m deeply grateful to MVC for being in my life and I know for sure how fortunate I am.

Although the accepted wisdom in the pro scene might lean toward polygamy, I know there are other subs out there who think like I do. Subs? What is your preference? Do you prefer monogamous or polygamous connections in the pro scene? Dommes, what are you thoughts on the subject? Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing from you.