Most of the Dommes on here seem to be well established and the subs mostly seem to have significant experience over a period of years.

Given the wealth of experience present here I'm curious about when you look back over your BDSM journey what firsts or milestones truly stand out in your memory and why?


For me it was many years ago with a life partner. Although it wasn't a FLR we regularly incorporated BDSM activities into our sex life. After much planning and discussion we set up and executed a session with significant elements of CNC. (We actually viewed it as more like irrevocable consent.)

She had a variety of activities to choose from and multiple paths the session might take. Other than being able to speculate on possibilities I had no way of knowing what was coming nor did I have any say over what might or might not happen once we began.



It was my first experience getting a even a partial taste of being truly powerless in a BDSM context...... albeit constrained by certain agreed limits and a set maximum time.

30+ years ago and the memories are still vivid and powerful.

edit It was my first ever experience with two releases on a single session. Having play continue in the time between the first climax and being recovered was very challenging but in retrospect, VERY hot!

furfan, your timing is perfect. I'm sessioning in a day or so with my longtime now UTR Mistress & my mind is racing with anticipation. I've often written that my first Mistress was the legendary Belle De Jour as a college kid. In my 2nd sesssion with Mistress I was asked/ordered to train a woman who wanted to work at the Mistress' dungeon. Years later that happened two more times with Belle & one more with another Mistress. It got my exhibitionist kink going. It was a tremendous turn on.

In the early '00s I met and became a regular of a dominant female bodybuilder who had me quickly kiss her feet in parking lots and stairways. I met my current Mistress, when she was active and taking on new clients, before the bodybuilder and expanded by my exhibitionist tendencies dramatically. We began to play outdoors in the city at dawn or so on weekends, usually in warm weather with me half naked in parks, industrial areas, etc. being controlled by the Mistress... before smartphones and security cameras. We have tried it again the past couple of years. It is way more limited, but still exhilarating.

In other things I thought I would never do, I was offered the chance to experience strap on play years ago, but never liked it. But in the first session with my Mistress, doing the "captured Tarzan" roleplay, she began humping me to assert superiority and control without a strap on. (While shorter than I am, she is quite athletic & strong.) She approached me about strap on play but I said it wasn't my thing. However in the past few years, because I wanted to please her, I've began to worship her strap on orally and the dynamic is such that at one point I asked her to spit on me while doing it. Being used that way is an incredible turn on.

Finally GS. This dominant female bodybuilder had to relieve herself in the middle of a session. I was in such deep subspace I asked to watch her pee. Ordered to crawl on all fours I watched & surprisingly got turned on. The next time I was in her city we talked about it for our next session. She cautiously agreed, wondering how I would handle the first time experience. Without getting into details, she consented to do it and I felt demeaned, used, objectified... I loved it. She soon retired, but when I caught up with my UTR Mistress once again a few years later the subject of GS came up. Again, without the details, it was better than the bodybuilder since with her it is euphoric like I'm being marked as property of hers. Which is what I am I guess.

I'll never forget the first pair of real handcuffs I bought. I went to this random sex shop in NJ with my sub. We were new to exploring kink. I remember seeing them and instantly wanting them. Funny enough, they were the best pair of handcuffs I've ever owned (they don't sell them anymore). It look me 7 years to finally retire them, but I still keep them around and they're absolutely precious to me. I'm so glad I bought my first bits of gear in person, nothing beats that experience.