I sent an email apologizing that I'd need to cancel the session and asked what I could've done better, never heard back. As far as the discussion on the definition of "well known" this is someone that every single person in the BDSM community, at least in the US, would recognize I just don't want to name them. I think I was communicating with an assistant for most if not all communication. Which I don't have an issue with, it was just odd that I got no response. This communication was wildly different than other dommes I've seen before where once we agree on a date I'm instructed to send the deposit and then once it's received I'm notified session is confirmed. And then typically I'm instructed to confirm the day prior as well. And when I do I always get a response back so I know everything is still good

Based on the lack of a reply to your most recent email, it is all the better that you cancelled the session. I think you handled the entire matter very well.

Appreciate you updating. I agree with subjack, you handled this well and should have no regrets. Hoping things go well for you in your future kink journey

I've been following this thread and I definitely think you made the right choice. It's always disappointing when you plan something you look forward to, only to have to cancel. That being said, I have a couple points I'd like to inquire about, --out of curiosity -- to try to work out what happened, I find it so odd that 1. She did not ask for a deposit 2. She just completely dropped off without an email when theres a session booked.

How many emails were exchanged when booking originally? Would it be enough that she'd block your email or dismiss your request? Did you make sure to book through her website with her email address? Is this possibly a Domme imposter? Is it possible your email address got blocked unintentionally? I constantly have emails bounce when they're iCloud addresses. Have you tried writing her from a different email address?

Mistress Tissa and Mistress UV,

Do you think this could have been a catfishing?

It seems like if a catfish, they would have asked for a deposit to be sent. But maybe the catfish was going to take place in person?

Something just doesnt make sense here. And I cant quite figure it out.

And if the domme was reputable, why didnt she follow through. Its almost like the communication was intercepted or redirected to someone other than the domme. Is this a form of catfishing?

So confused over this post, as are alot of other readers.

Appreciate sharing your knowledge and expertise. Thanks so much.

Celeste

I think it would be helpful for us to know who it was. Then we can either go something like, "Ohhhh, no that was you misunderstanding her protocol about..." or maybe a "Hmmmm, that Domme always asks for a deposit..." or possibly a "Who??"

I don't know why people seem to think it's not okay to talk about the Domme by name when trying to problem solve. The way I look at it is: you're trying, in good faith, to figure out what happened. I would hope that if something questionable arose we'd all be fair and reasonable and try to find out the truth. And the truth is the truth, isn't it? Whether she was misunderstood, he misunderstood, etc.

I don't know Aztoliet, so I don't know if they are omitting details, if they might have fallen for a decoy/catfish, or what. There's only so much help we can offer when so much information is missing.

Thanks. You are so correct (as usual). Direct communication to / with the parties involved is really the only way to understand what happened here.

Sometimes we go down rabbit holes and ask alot of questions, and the best question is to directly ask the people involved.

Celeste

I highly doubt it was a catfish scenario. The email I sent everything to is on her website as well as multiple other websites. I think it just boils down to someone not being great at the business side of things. You might be surprised how common poor communication and lack of time management is. People just don't post about it because bdsm is very cliquey and you'll get domme friends and subs trying to look good defending it.

I don’t think being great at the skill side if things but not good at the business side is limited to Dommes either. I can think of contractors and tradesmen who do great work but sometimes fail to show up or get things done on time. This probably holds true in a lot of professions.

I definitely think you handled this well. Getting on an airplane and flying somewhere is a lot different than just driving across town or even a few hours away. You didn’t say but did you even have the address for where the session was to take place? I can’t think of a situation where seeing someone new I was given the exact location so far in advance.

I agree this is not something unique to Dommes. Which is also why I think it's more common than people might think. I never got an address, but I've traveled to see Dommes before and I don't think I've ever gotten an address in advance. Just general area. I usually get the address the day of the session