I started doing sessions again 2 years ago. I am a veteran of the professional scene for a couple decades and have been very blessed to have been bleesed to have been able to meet some infamous Dommes and made incredlbe connections. The kind of connections that made me start thinking about the next session the minute our session was over.

Over the last two years I did 8 sessions. Each session was at least 90 minutes to 2 hours. I vetted every Domme I met via their website and social media and even paid for phone a phone consultation ( which I feel is wrong on so many levels). These women were skilled and trained supposely by some the best Dommes around. I probably spent $7500 to $8500 with phone consultantions, session fees, gifts/tips. All this and no chemistry and I will not rebook. My kink is strong but professional scene is not.

I think this is real problem for the Dommes also becuase I see so many traveling to other cities to find clients. Back in the day this hardly ever happen. Everyone will say inflation but today's Dommes have many more ways of making $$$ then Dommes of yester year like clip stores etc.

It sounds like you had a lot of disappointing experiences. I'm sorry to hear that. I honestly feel badly for clients/subs who have a series of bad experiences. Because it's a lot of money to spend on lackluster sessions.

If you've been doing with for 20 years I'm going to assume you know how to figure out who might be a good match for you, how to consider how a Domme presents herself, how to do research and look for testimonials or referrals. So, assuming you did this...I don't know why you've had so many duds in a row. I don't know if these were all younger and/or inexperienced Dommes or all trained by the same one or two people, or what.

Just looking at the pro scene, like any other profession, if you think about statistics then imagine a Bell curve. You can assume that most people in that profession are average, with some on the left side of the curve who are not very good and a smaller number who are just awful; and inversely on the right side, some who are great, with a smaller number who are outstanding. Once you realize this, you then have to overlap what you're looking for among these numbers, how fussy/picky/specific you are about the Domme as a whole, and find out who the above average are and if you're willing to travel and pay for to see them (as none of those who are a truly good match for you may be in your area).

I know you're discouraged, I would be, too, but I'm sure there are Dommes out there who I bet you'd have chemistry with.

Eight lackluster scenes is a row is wild to imagine, especially when you take the time to have a phone consultation to check for chemistry. That is crazy unlucky and I'm sorry to hear that. Kink should always be enjoyable.

Honestly, if I were you (and I'm not) I'd consider taking a short break. After that many bad scenes I'd be "tilted".

(For those that aren't familiar with the odd term: Tilt in gaming refers to a state of emotional frustration or mental confusion that negatively impacts a player's performance, often caused by a series of losses or perceived unfair events, leading to poor decision-making and suboptimal play.) Although it's a gaming term I think it can be said in kink too. If you've had so little success recently, you're likely to be tilted and it might negatively affect your future scenes.


Also, although it is very possible you really just have been having bad luck, I'd also consider reflecting and seeing if you were getting into your own head too. I've head of this happening to some submissives and it's worth thinking about.

Wishing you well on your future kink journeys.

Hello there PainSlut,

Sorry to hear about your experiences. It does sound like you did everything right. Can you elaborate more about the lack of chemistry? Sometimes, there just isn't any chemistry, but that's a lot of sessions to go without.