i agree its the essential component. Sometimes i have not been able to make myself vulnerable, usually with a new Domme or one with whom the energy in the session wasnt there. i think i have learned with time what i can do to be more open to it and also recognizing it takes time -- multiple sessions -- to develop. For me, it also takes a Domme willing and confident enough to take risks and push me to open up, to ¨peel the layers of the onion," so to speak, which is not something understandably that everyone in that role feels capable or motivated to do.