Some years ago on New Years Day I was sitting next to my wife and received a text from a Domme that sent shivers through me. I was a regular of hers and we sometimes did things outside of session. She knew me very well and was truly a great Domme. The text said something like “Everything changes today. You are to supply the dungeon with fresh flowers twice a week and pay for my coffee “ I sat there kind of stunned and excited. I wanted to do this but at the same time I was thinking how in the hell am I going to be able to do this? My wife and I spend a lot of time together and I just can’t go out without her asking where I am going. I think later that week I was free at night and text the Domme that I wanted to bring flowers over to the dungeon but she replied back that it wasn’t a good time and I definitely realized at that point this was not going to be possible. I was worried that she would be angry with me and not want to see me anymore and I didn’t know what to do. Finally a couple months later I was out near her space waiting on a car repair and I text her and she told me to stop by. She told me everything was fine with us and that she just wanted to give me a chance to start at this to see if I could do it which wasn’t going to be possible for me and we resumed just regular sessions.

My post here is to ask Dommes and subs on this board how common is it that personal subs are married and how do they do it? I just assume most personals are single but maybe I am wrong.

I posted a thread over on the old MF in its final days that addressed this somewhat -- it was more about what the transition from client to "slavery" and being a personal slave looked like more generally. (i.e., it was less about the marriage aspect of it). There were some good responses there, one from a regular (and married) poster who I'm not sure is over here, so I won't name him. But he wound up finding it too much to handle although also a learning experience.

I would assume that given the rise of more digitally-oriented relationships, financial domination, etc., that there are more married subs in some form of personal slave roles in at least a long-distance kind of way. (For example, you could cover those flower deliveries and coffee even if you're not able to deliver them yourself.)

I talk to subs about the difficulties qe face all the time & I have two married sub friends who are dedicated and basically personals to Pro Dommes.

One's wife had a chronic disease that made her disinterested in sex & that put her into facilities to care for her at times. They never had an explicit discussion (and they had a D/s based relationship in the bedroom) but she basically gave him permission to see someone if he didn't put it in her face & sje was always the priority. From a marriage perspective it worked although he went thru hell when breaking up with the Domme about a year later becaude he was sure she would contact his wife.

The other has been married to a woman he loves for 40+ years but that is basically frigid beyond straight sex. He has been "busted" several times just for having dildos. He also had a Domme who lived about an hour away who would have him over to do chores and build things (he has the skills and equipment) and he loved that relationship.

But, he chose to give it up earlier this year after getting "busted" again & realizing that if he got caught doing the Domme stuff by his wife, he was done. So, he ended that relationship (She totally understood & accepted the decision even though it hurt her).

Two different situations that both guys took big risks with to satisfy a need their spouses couldn't/wouldn't fulfill for them.