I fall into the "not a fan" of protocol. My goal beyond pleasing the Mistress is to hit subspace & most protocols get in the way of that for me as well as setting me up for possible failure. Specifically, ones where I have to translate thought into speech such as counting strokes or saying yes/no/thank you Mistress after each thing she does immediately rips me out of subspace.

However, I do like a more formal start to a session & the only request I make before a session is IF the Domme has a foot tattoo (personal ferish) that we begin/end the session with me kneeling and kissing it.

I also can enjoy when Dommes have a series of specific positions that I have to get into with names/numbers/hand signals for me to follow if that is its own scene rather than something that jerks me out of my headspace.

Why I hate most protocol is that the ultimate bad headspace for me is when I feel I have failed the Domme... and protocol is basically built for that to happen. She may not really care & just do a quick verbal correction then move on but I still feel the sting of failure for the rest of the session & in some cases even 10 years later. So, I really prefer to avoid the chance of it (although if protocol is who she is as a Domme then that is what I want to do for her).

Thoughtful and interesting reply...thanks

I think it also depends on a definition of "protocol". I'm not thinking of so called high protocol as much as I am a structured session with the Domme enforcing lots of rules and issuing orders. I thrive on the idea of her control and of punishments being imposed for specific violations. Strict rules that can be difficult to comply with give a basis for punishments that steadily increase in severity. For some reason I am more in tune with this format than the Domme just engaging in these actions because she chooses to.

It seems we all approach BDSM play from a slightly different angle.

Yup... and that difference in approach is more of what I try to get across to a Domme that I am seeing for the first time rather than caring about specific activities. Although, I am really good with her being stern & giving me orders/instructions to follow during the session.

You want the structure of the reward/punishement but receiving punishments for "messing up" literally destroys the experience for me (especially, if the Domme is doing a predicament kind of thing where you are guaranteed to fuck up).

Quick example... One amazing Domme who I have seen for years decided to fuck with me in a hotel session when she came to Detroit. She made me stand with my nose pressing a penny against the wall while she beat me. I focused almost entirely on the penny and it seemed to take a really long time for this beating to end (reality may have been different) then at some point I finally slipped into subspace and the penny got dropped.

This had to have been at least 5 years ago since it was pre-covid & it still bothers me that I failed (it was also a recurring thought in my head for the rest of the session). I know the beating was gonna continue until I failed because as soon as that happened (and I took the punishment), we switched to a different location & scene in the room. It's not that I actually disappointed her, but my headspace is such that it still felt like I failed (even though that was a given in her head) & that always devastates me on some levels.

This is an interesting one for me. I am both a high protocol and "go with the flow" domina.

I have pretty specific "rituals" for beginning and ending a session. These aren't arbitrary but time-tested strategies that ease the transitions. They are potent symbols that the negotiation has ended, the power exchange has begun, and then again that the balance has returned. A lot of this is also aftercare and to prevent/reduce sub-drop.

As for the actual playtime, it's so individualized that I could never have blanket rules. I think the only consistent "rule" I have inside of a session is that my subject clears their mind to be open to instruction and allows me to execute fully the agreed-upon scene.

Something about this scene sounds familiar.

Exactly! This kind of formalized or ritualized transition from arrival/chatting/last minute negotiation to the start of the power exchange has always been important to me and one of my favourite milestones during a session.

I can certainly see how a Pro Domme seeing a variety of subs, all with varying interests, would need to be more flexible in terms of structure.

No, there were no sounds used in this scene.

Oh wait, look over there is that an elephant in a tutu dancing the waltz with Richard Pryor?

*slowly creeping away while she is distracted *

I am definitely more of a "go with the flow" type of Mistress. I definitely fall more into the "bully having fun" camp, and have never identified as a High Protocol Mistress.

I do have one particularly beloved protocol with my slave of over a decade. When we smoke weed together, he is not permitted to exhale without my explicit permission. This is very easy to forget when I am stoned, which is very funny. I gotta say, I am a lot more well-suited to the type of protocol where me forgetting about it at least some of the time is kind of the point.

This comment is so fascinating to me. I think the transition from vanilla world to the in-role/ in-session dynamic is an experience in and of itself that is deeply affecting when done intentionally and meaningfully. This can be or some sort of recitation or structured dialog/ pledge/ statement of consent and subservience ...or it can be wordless, assuming a position or making a specific gesture or an action by the Domme such as Her undressing me or instructing me to undress in a certain way ...the placing of a collar ... i think the very hottest and most psychologically engaging/ inhibition removing/ liberating into that higher plane of submission is having some instructions to follow just before arrival....

Coming out of it equally and I think this is something that is very hard to do well and so I have deep admiration for Dommes that put thought and effort into it. Ive had experience with Dommes who were such lovely and caring people that the out-going transition/ after care was actually too affectionate and left me feeling a bit ...guilty or selfish? I think the best, most emotionally fulfilling experiences ive had on that part of the experience is actually the Domme talking about how She experienced the session...what parts were interesting or arousing or provocative for Her ...and/or allusions to what She has in mind for the future ...that for me is the way to be dismissed with a real sense of having moved forward in some way emotionally ....