I dont know how many on here read the New York Times, but I was really struck by an opinion article they ran last week, by an accomplished author, who is publishing a memoir of her "dry season," a year of what she calls "celibacy." Its a long article that is actually quite dull, in my opinion, but I read it presuming that an intelligent, worldly person who is writing a book about sexuality would at some point talk about chastity as a practice in power exchange. Its hardly an obscure topic if one reads or writes about sexuality.

What she really meant was she spent a year not dating, because she didnt want emotional attachments. Which is a fine choice to make but really, isnt that irrelevant to whether or not one has sex (of any sort)? But if she really wanted to explore a relationship that would be more meaningful, it seems to me she ought to have at least considered chastity as we here would understand it?

The article is here if anyone does care to read it, though again its actually quite dull
<https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/06/opinion/celibacy-sex-relationships.html>

I wonder if anyone else bothered to read it and had any reaction from a "domina.ms" point of view?

She wanted to include it, but all the information was locked up. Ba-dum-Ching. I’ll show myself out now.

Excellent!

Hmm Let's see. Does Melissa Febos have any familiarity with BDSM? Well she did write this book

https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/melissa-febos/whip-smart/

So I would say, "Yes".

Her essay is overwritten as academics are prone to do. However she is a woman struggling with various addictions which includes a sex addiction. She therefore wants eroticism and romance to have less control over her life. Put in that perspective a power exchange would be horribly counterproductive. Sort of like recommending that a person on fire pour gasoline on themself.

I think as kinky people we tend to look for kink everywhere, even when it has no place there.

Sounds like she wanted to avoid sex to improve her dating life, and inserting a kink and power exchange like chastity is doing the opposite.
Just because you can't physically get aroused with a cage on doesn't mean you aren't actually turned on mentally.

Mistress, excellent point. Separate from this discussion, it happened to me two years ago. Bought a condo and this tall mature woman, who has long blonde hair, slight European accent and usually wears black, is in my building. At the condo meetings and when I accidentally have said hello in the lobby or the parking lot, she has what I would call a friendly but authoritative bearing. She reminded me of Mistresses I have served. I helped her load boxes in her luxury SUV one day and she assertively told me how to place them in her vehicle.

She probably owns her own business or is a top sales exec and my overactive imagination is likely misguided. I think. LOL!

Thank you for pointing that out; I was unaware of her earlier book or background. I did not mean to suggest she should get involved in power exchange/ bdsm so much as I wondered why she did not discuss it. I think your response explains that this was a deliberate choice on her part, which makes a good deal of sense given her background. Thank you for educating me on the author.