omg, yes that's it! This is exactly where I needed to end up to get the full cathartic effect of my sessions, to be in subspace. Being fully immobilized and trapped by my Domme(s), ready to service one or more other persons whom I may or may know. Early on I was on the edge of panic in these sessions, holding on by my fingernails to not scream "red". But later I was able to "relax" into the experience.

po

Those that see it primarily as transactional are wasting the experience, and paradoxically, their money.

po

It's a real scene killer for me when my sub/bottom won't allow him or herself to be vulnerable. I'm thinking, "Why are you even here??"

i agree its the essential component. Sometimes i have not been able to make myself vulnerable, usually with a new Domme or one with whom the energy in the session wasnt there. i think i have learned with time what i can do to be more open to it and also recognizing it takes time -- multiple sessions -- to develop. For me, it also takes a Domme willing and confident enough to take risks and push me to open up, to ¨peel the layers of the onion," so to speak, which is not something understandably that everyone in that role feels capable or motivated to do.

Vulnerability doesn't magically happen. You have to allow yourself to become vulnerable. And, like you said, it can be an issue of not feeling comfortable allowing it with someone you don't know.



Yes, there is skill involved in this process. Understanding what it means to assume the Dominant role (different than just the top role). So, subs, don't blame yourself if it's not happening. If your expectations are misaligned it can affect your ability to, what I call, "drop into the scene".