I think half the time the chemistry is off is because they're not actually submissive, and when you write to set a boundary or tell them what they don't want to hear --- that you won't continue to fulfill their 'need'---they will show their true colors. I'm seeing more and more that throw absolute tantrums when I tell them I'm not interested in seeing them. I don't think it's my job to teach grown men how to deal with the word 'NO' but I do think they need to hear it more often.