Hey All!

How many of you have come across online and/or catfishing scams? Not dommes with bad business practices or who overstate their abilities, but outright scams--fraudulent profiles, ads, or full websites? How far did you go before you figured something wasn't right? What tipped you off? What are the green flags when negotiating a first session with a new domina?

I ask because I still get asked to prove myself, and I don't know how other than booking directly on my website, which one can see I have had for 20+ years, or looking at my X, which I have had for 15 years. Someone yesterday came after me about some woman claiming to be me who obviously wasn't. I asked for the link to where he contacted this person with my picture, but he couldn't provide it. I don't know how to explain people who have stolen my picture, especially when I don't have a reference for it.

Is telling people to go to my actual site not cutting it?

Advice is appreciated.

I see it on Twitter/X all the time. Both just fake accounts/profiles and ones stealing/spoofing real Dommes. Seems pretty easy to tell they are fake: few/no followers, no/few posts, they initiate contact eg they follow me, or try to message me. Ridiculous statements like “seeking slave, send tribute to apply”, that kind of stuff.

Not sure how folks get fooled tbh. I would just say what a Domme once told me: “I get it you’re a horny boy, and horny boys do horny boy things”

Sort of like asking the Pope to prove they are catholic.

Honestly, if messaging you through your web site isn't enough I would just dismiss that person.

Domina M, I get the feeling that the person who contacted you may wanted to engage in a few emails and was not serious about having a session.

I'm not in the market, but if I found a Mistress who intrigued me since we seem to have the same tastes, I'd do the following: check to see if she has a website; check if she has social media & for how long; Google her name to see if reviews and/or red flags appear; and visit sites like this and see what has been posted about her, or post if anyone has served her. And check whether the deposit is required, or within your budget to lose. And, really consider if you are willing to provide your ID to a complete stranger.

This type of discussion reminds how I ever took a chance answering New York Magazine's now defunct "Role Play" personal ads to contact a Mistress in the '90s, and how they took a chance posting the ads. Two or three lines of copy, name and a phone number. The phone calls were an interesting dance too. You had to be respectful, yet get some info about the Mistress and her repertoire. The Mistress has to provide some info, entice the sub and figure out if you were legit, NYPD or an axe murderer all in a three minute or so phone call.

To echo Chi61's comment, my hard earned advice to fellow subs is, "Think with the head on your shoulders, and NOT the one between your legs."

It's possible that scammers are pretending to be clients and asking for you to "prove" yourself so they can get ideas about how to deal with similar inquiries as they try to scam others.

If someone asked me to prove myself at this point, I'd either tell them to do their research or I'd ignore them. If they can't figure it out then they are likely not the kind of client I'm looking for anyway.

Never really thought of this point before, always assumed that these guys were just normal idiots/timewasters.

It's kind of a chicken/egg scenario sometimes, they won't send a deposit unless they meet me, I won't meet them without a deposit. So they end up with an email from me saying in a few more words, "Tough Shit".

Some of them are, but I know some of them are running more elaborate operations. There are literally companies in India set up as scam centers -- and some of these guys are pretty smart, actually. Look them up on YouTube, if you're curious.




At this point I have zero people balk about a deposit. I make it clear what my rules for engagement are on my site. And that I'm very much worth it. No one complains. To me, anyway. If they did, I'd just ask them to go see if they can hire an attorney or a caterer or rent an apartment without a deposit/retainer.

Ahhhh, I never thought about this. Most often, my response is to research my website and Twitter history. I am obviously a real person, and after that, I can do nothing for them. If they have trust issues, they should contact me after they have worked on it.

It feels like it is more and more. I was wondering if people are getting dumber, but this makes sense in a dystopian kind of way.

I feel scams are pretty obvious, TBH. Scams of all types are everywhere, and I have been scammed as well. I am so cautious when ordering clothes online. Clothes made en-mass in China generally don't fit my figure.

I do; it seems to be more and more prevalent these days. I was wondering if there are more scams out there and just how people are getting scammed. I can spot a scam from a mile away, but I live in this world.