It dosen't matter how many sessions, if none are real.

These Twitter/X ripoff queens are a PLAUGE on pro BDSM!

Really? That sure is a lot. When I had a fully functional house of domination with a receptionist in Midtown Manhattan, I maxed out at 25-27 sessions weekly. This was working 11 hours a day, seven days a week. To be perfectly honest, the quality of my sessions suffered. I only have so much to give. Maybe I'm not as strong as these young dommes, but 42 in a week sounds impossible.

These days, I know I have 10-12 hours to give to sessions a week, but it is usually less. By keeping this boundary, I can maintain the quality and connection required for good playtime.

Respectfully, 42 sessions does not compute for me as an achievable number. I know you have more experience than me, but in 27 years of being a domina, I've never come close to that number.

I've always been interested in the business aspects of pro domination. When you talk "sessions" per week are you assuming hour long sessions?

I've always wondered about just how many paid hours a full time Domme would do in an average week. Also about how many hours of admin, promotion, session preparation or cleanup are needed to support each of those active "in session" hours.

It's easy to see session rates of 300-400+ per hour and think "wow! she's making a mint" but when you stop and think about overhead like gear and studio costs as well as unpaid hours spent supporting the business that calculation changes a lot.

Tracking my time invested in all the work surrounding sessions for years--it was 5-6 hours for every session hour. Working 10-12 hours of paid sessions seems like nothing until you realize it's a 60-hour work week.

Deposits (back to the original post topic) have cut this to about 3 hours. My income has not changed, but I have a life now. It's glorious. The quality of my sessions has also improved because I can be present and prepared for each appointment. I wouldn't want to do more than 15 a week, though that is very rare. The amount of emotional labor I put into my sessions, which makes them a good experience for everyone, is limited.

Perhaps someone is doing 42 sessions a week. Me, I am not a fetish dispensing machine. Thinking about 42 sessions in one week makes me want to take a nap.

That's a huge reduction in unpaid hours. I never would have guessed it would be that much. ...all from having a deposit policy? I assume it's due to weeding out time wasters faster and earlier in the process?

Knowing that it makes that much of a difference it's hard to begrudge a Domme requiring a deposit.

My booking form is directly on my calendar. Clients can book directly, block out their appointment, and make the deposit all in one go—and even change it on their own. This saves me an amazing amount of time.

In the three years I have used this system, I have only had one unacceptable booking, so I immediately canceled it and refunded the deposit.

I still have to maintain my dungeon--keeping it cleaned and stocked, answering questions from some emails, doing photoshoots, putting up ads, and posting on damned social media, but fielding multiple time wasters each hour is not my problem.

I've always thought NYC and LA as being their own world in relation to ProDom. In Columbus, Ohio where I started out, it was slamming busy. There was not enough hours in the day for all of the session requests. When I started to travel, it because I was getting bored with my own dungeon. Chicago, Raleigh, Detroit...I can't think of a place that wasn't crazy busy. But, different day, different time, I guess. Kink is mainstreamed now, so that could be a factor.

"If a disreputable Domme with criminal intentions schedules 42 sessions for a fraudulent US tour. Then takes $50 to $100 dollars per deposit that's roughly $3100 dollars. High Profit for setting around the pool in LA, or Vancouver."

Respectfully, I didn't say 42 per week. I said 42 per a fraudulent US tour. If you are not doing the sessions, just stealing deposits you could schedule 500, or 1500.

I sessioned with you at your Midtown location in the Murray Hill area. Super nice Dungeon with custom made equipment. I think you said Sonny Black made it. You were beautiful, talented, and the session quality was excellent.

Aww, thank you for sharing that. It warms my heart. I'm glad to hear you had a good experience. I know there was a time when I got incredibly burnt out, and the quality of my sessions suffered. Fortunately, that was not our case.



I appreciate your candor in allowing me to respectfully flush this out with you. None of us are immune from knee-jerk reactions. Thankfully, this is not Twitter; we can take time to have some thought-out discussions longer than micro-blogging.

What I am trying to say to you is that the scenario you laid out is entirely plausible but not at all probable. Someone could set up a presence and tours with no intention of fulfilling the sessions, but it would have to be a lot of work to do so deceitfully. I mean, FinDom is a thing; they could do that, and it would be at least more honest and sustainable. I've met a lot of dominas worldwide, and I have heard a lot of, quite frankly, dumb business plans/ideas, but never something like scamming deposits. The most significant indicator of whether a real-time domme will succeed is if she respects her subs. I can tell you fetish clients are pretty savvy. A business model based on clients being "stupid" or "broken losers" will fail.

I think a much more likely scenario is poor time management and setting up expectations that can't be followed through. When I looked at the domme in question, she appeared real, invested in her business, and did a lot to promote herself well. The only red flag I saw was that she really had a lot going on. It is so difficult to juggle travel, content creation, and real-time sessions. My guess (and I don't know, maybe she will join the discussion with her side) is that there was so much going on that she did not prioritize the sessions for which she had deposits. Not respecting deposits will lead to people not booking, and maybe she will stay with content creation.

I've said this before, but I think ProDomination is fracturing into niches. Being a FinDom or content creator can be counterproductive to real-time sessions. I don't begrudge those who have the Uber-Bitch, "I'm going to ruin you and your family," Queen of Mean" parasocial presence, but I wonder how they expect to get deposits that normally include sensitive information with this persona.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.



Her own protocol aside, deposits by Amazon gift card are not ideal because, aside from the risk with a TOS violation, they are not refundable.



If you have attempted to reach her several times, hopefully in different places, like her email and social media, and she has not replied, then I personally believe you have a right to post a review in which you mention what happened. I would keep it matter-of-fact and leave as much emotion or speculation out of it as possible.

I think we all need to give each other the benefit of the doubt in these kinds of circumstances, as it could be a misunderstanding, but when someone contacts a Domme multiple times and receives no reply it starts to look deliberate.