Soyez calmes mes chéris.

It doesn't sound like a scam. Something happened. We can discuss it, and perhaps the domme in question will make it right, or we can see how she responds. I doubt she will tank her reputation for fifty bucks.

Goodness knows I have had my share of "life blowing up, and now I can't meet my obligations" times. Most, not all, people have been graceful in allowing me to make it right. I don't like it either because I want trust when people make deposits (deposits are not going anywhere; they are here to stay). Fifty bucks is a poor business practice needing to be called out, not a witch hunt.

Agreed.

I can't see their being ill intent, not for a lousy $50. Probably just too disorganized resulting in an oversight in not getting the deposit back.

^this.

Forgive me if I’m a bit of a contrarian on this. My experience losing a deposit two years ago changed my perspective a bit.

I think well known doesn’t necessarily mean what it used to. In the internet age, well known can just mean very present online. I rely much more heavily these days on referrals and asking Dommes I know if they know so and so.

I also don’t know that illegitimately keeping someone’s deposit will tank a Domme’s reputation anymore. Especially in my case and the OP’s case where travel was involved. If a NYC Domme (as example) stole my deposit I would very likely pass that on to a number of awesome, amazing NYC Domme’s I know. When it’s someone on the West Coast, I don’t really have that option. I could post here, certainly. It’s a safe space, I think I have enough history here to be taken seriously but would that post tank her reputation. Probably not. I could tweet about it but most of my followers are bots lol and she would certainly block me. I suspect my tweet would quickly be lost to the sands of time/internet churn.

But what might she do? If I gave my real name (not uncommon these days) she could dox me in retaliation. Even if she didn’t do that, she very well may black list me. Do I have “receipts”, yes. Is anyone going to read my email history to confirm my story. Probably not. Would I win in small claims court, 100% yes. Will I win in an internet fight with an established Domme, no at least not in my opinion

I should also add I don’t think in either case the Domme was running a scam. I suspect both regularly take deposits, honor them, and have sessions. I just think in both cases it may have been more of a “oh well, shit happens, plans change, what are you gonna do about it” type attitude. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine. That is at least my suspicion

I’m not anti deposit. Not at all. I’m just a bit more selective these days. The Dommes I play with are rock stars. I trust them completely. I’ve just learned that imo sexy chat on SP, a strong Twitter game and website doesn’t guarantee you’re ethical.

If a disreputable Domme with criminal intentions schedules 42 sessions for a fraudulent US tour. Then takes $50 to $100 dollars per deposit that's roughly $3100 dollars. High Profit for setting around the pool in LA, or Vancouver.

Not a very sustainable business model...

Yes, to clarify, I am quite confident in that it is not an intentional scam, ie that she did not set out with the intent of not honouring the session.

What most likely happened was that something came up, or she made plans to be not in town, she had to cancel, I would have left town by the time she was back and she couldn't be bothered to refund me my deposit.

Whether she does it regularly or it was just me I don't know, but I've asked for the refund thrice and didn't get it. And I gave up after three tries because it didn't seem likely anymore.

As someone from a smaller city I think it would be the last minute cancelation that would bother me the most. From the post it seems like it was unexplained as well. I get that life happens but I wonder if Dommes understand how disappointing something like this can be for the client. At the very least the client was owed an explanation.

I only get to session with established Dommes with a dedicated, well equipped dungeons when I travel. Sometimes I'm making a special trip or adding onto a trip specifically to see a Domme. Seeing as today's scene requires far more advanced planning rebooking with another Domme is often impossible at short notice. 30-40 years ago bookings were by phone and you could often get a booking sameday or within 24 hours but not today. Email exchanges alone often take days.

While I agree that it is highly unlikely this Domme deliberately decided to steal $50 she certainly ruined what I expect were much anticipated plans. I know if it happened to me I'd be like a 5 year old who got told on Dec 24 that Christmas was cancelled

I see the actual bad behaviour here as not expressing regret and giving an explanation and in not returning the deposit as soon as the client declined the alternate date. To just stop responding is very poor manners and very unprofessional.

Yes you are spot on in that, there is not a lot for us to gain despite being very well established subs (at least locally for me) to put my name out there and risk a showdown/mudslinging over $50 or even $100.

That's why I'm hesitant to post the Domme's name because she is reputable and legit.

She's definitely not a scam, but just couldn't be bothered with the process of refunding me.

Yes you're spot on.

That was the especially disappointing part as people from smaller places without established dommes look forward and make plans well in advance to see famous/world famous dommes.

And that means an opportunity cost to not see another equally well known or established domme.

When the plan is cancelled at the last minute, one loses not only the $50/100 deposit, but also end up sitting in the hotel room wasting the time, especially since another well establisehd domme would not accept a last minute booking on short notice.