What I think explains some of this is how our culture has changed due to the immediacy the internet offers.

When you're talking about sex, and sexual fulfillment, it's actually something that I would most people have very short attention spans for: You get aroused, it builds, you want (sometimes immediate) release, and when you get it you're done. The internet is fantastic for this. Sit down, type in whatever, watch the clip, jack off, get up and go get some Cheetos.

Seeing a Domme in a dungeon is niche because it requires planning, even just going to a house. Those of us who don't offer drop-in? Even more niche. To want to schedule your "release" 2, 7, 14, 30 or more days in advance requires a particular type: a lifestyle person who is always ready to indulge in their fetish fantasy. This is why those of us who can make a full-time living as an independent are total Goddesses. You either have to be really good or you have to live in a place where you corner the market.

Did I mention we're considered a luxury service? This is not meant to be cheap.

So, session rates? Stop complaining and pay them. Bring a bottle of wine or some other nice thing for your Goddess while you're at it.

Like I said, I think the internet has changed many aspects of culture, including the way people get their kinky needs met. When it's easier to buy an outfit and flogger, take photos of yourself with your cell phone, open a free FetLife account, copy what others are saying and doing, and call yourself a "pro Domme", it means that there will be more confusion about what one actually is.

Based on the feedback I've received from clients over the years, one thing I've heard from multiple people is about their experiences in quality. Some people have told me that they thought they were having good experiences but learned they weren't very good at all. They started with one of those people on FetLife and believed that was what a pro Domme was like.

So, I think this correlation between price and value has been distorted because of the way people are being introduced to "professional" kink. They see the proliferation of "pro" "Dommes" online and, without knowing how to "shop", they think that's a normal representation.

I'll be snooty for both of us, then! We have good reason to be!

*puts scientist hat on*

Your list is biased and therefore doesn't show people an accurate picture of rates. It will not pass peer review.

One, you seemed to focus on one area. Seattle might have a reason for doing what it's doing. Or the Dommes you chose to include or not include.

Two, there are many Dommes who don't post their tributes. Some are new and some have been doing it for a long time. This can be because the law prohibits it.

Three, I assume Dommes have some variance in what they might offer in their tributes, increasing it if certain things are requested. In other words the $320/hr you see might actually not include your fetish or some outfit or something.

There is a general national rate. It's about $400/hr. It goes up and down based on various factors. Location and its standard of living; skills and if any of them are specialized, complicated, or dangerous; experience; reputation; dungeon; etc.

My idea about tribute is that Dommes who started before the current rate may not raise their tribute as it increases and it's why they seem "cheaper". Newer Dommes, some of whom are the FetLife/Twitter/I-saw-this-on-Netflix people, hear the national rate is X and start their tributes at that, even when they really shouldn't. A new Domme with little to no experience, no established reputation, who's running sessions out of a hotel room shouldn't be charging the same as a 20-year, well-known professional with an amazing Dungeon. But that's how capitalism works.

I started doing sessions again and they are at best average. Rates have gone way up but expereince way down. I have done a couple 90 minute sessions. I paid for phone consultation each time and each said they knew exactly what I was seeking and that it would be no problem. I thought going to a private Domme and paying the higher fee instead of a commercial dungeon tipping was optional? And by going to a private Domme one could experience more private intense play that you could not expereience at commercial dungeon. I did not know having a Domme wear leather was extra up charge. Or when she tells you she got her nails done espicially for me and would I like to pay for them getting done. But the biggest turn off was the arlarm on their phone going off when the session was over.

Now I know why so many Domme travel to cities these days. The repeat customer is not coming back.

It is really a shame.

I disagree with your assessment and general statement of the professional scene. If researched and sought out, you will find great dommes that deliver great experiences. Without knowing your process and protocols for selection and contacting a domme, I can not say this is the case. I can only speak for myself. And also being committed to one (instead of hopping around) leads to cultivation and better experiences over time. I with you the best on your journey.

Celeste

Good to hear. I do my research and I am very selective with who I session with. In fact with both ladies we did have a wonderful phone conversation but it did not match up with the r/t session. I ahve sessioned for beter than 15 years. I can assure you it is not the same.

Hi Painslut,

OK, I understand. We may need to take this convo private. I see you are in So Cal, and I am in Northeast (NYC). Maybe there is a geographic difference in play here?

Celeste

I think what has happened is that our culture has shifted by the addition of the internet. It makes it easy to put up your shingle and call yourself a Domme. This means the "professional" pool is diluted with a lot of people who really have no idea what they're doing or what professionalism means. I think many of them think it just means you get paid. That's it: getting paid to do something = you are a professional.

But there are some of us who do understand this and provide above average sessions. You just have to thoroughly research who interests you.

Again, however nearly pointless acrimony appears to be the "spirit of the age".

po