I am currently on tour in Washington, DC and have had the most ludicrous, coincidental and stupid event happen. It's the next day and I still can't remove the palm from My face.

On Sunday as I am about to get on the plane a sub emails Me about My last remaining opening which was on Monday evening. By Monday afternoon he has finally submitted his application and sent his deposit. He is supposed to call Me from the lobby a little before our 6pm appointment so I can come get him (a key is required in the elevator). At 6:10 I haven't heard from him so I call. He says he is 5 minutes away. About 5 minutes later he calls and says he is in the lobby. I tell him to wait for Me by the elevator banks and I will be right down. The elevator opens and there is a guy standing there alone looking all eager and anxious. I ask him if his name is Perry (not his real name) and he says yes. We get on the elevator and he looks at Me strangely and says "Did you say Perry or Barry?". I said, "Perry. Are you not Perry?" He said that he was not Perry, that he was Barry, and then made some remark about Me looking like someone else. We both laughed and went back to the lobby where he once again was waiting for someone to come get him and I was looking for My sub - which was nowhere to be found.

I call. It rings into voicemail. I leave a message detailing where I am. I wait. I call again and it rings into voice mail and I tell him that I am going back to My room and he will have to call within X minutes if we are still going to make this work because I have an appointment later. He never calls.

About 15 minutes later I get a text (he has been informed that I have a no text policy, but he ignores that) that says "What a ripoff." Then, "I will spread the word here and in Atlanta." I call, he answers and I ask him if he is a complete idiot? Why wasn't he where I told him to be? Why didn't he answer his phone? Why didn't he return My call after I left him a voicemail? He stammered. Said something about not knowing about any voicemail, etc. I tell him I am going to return his deposit and to please not contact Me again. He agrees and hangs up on Me. A couple of minutes later I get a text that says "Brought no toys and spent 10 minutes with me." I have an aha moment.

Barry, referenced above, was at the hotel to see a provider (escort?) and that provider picked up My client with a similar name and went back to her room. Why he never asked why she wasn't in the Presidential Suite or didn't have 50 pounds of equipment or any number of other questions that he should have asked, is beyond Me.

So I try to call him back to clear this up and he won't answer. He had just texted so I know he sees Me calling. I leave a message briefly detailing what I suspect happened and ask him to call so we can clear this up. He does not call.

I refund his $100 deposit and sent him an email detailing what I think happened and asking him for details. This morning I wake up to a text that says, "please refund my $300". WTF? I check email and I have an email from him that states he has received the $100 refund of the deposit but wants to know where the remaining $200 is? He writes: "A woman came down and took me to her room, had no toys, looked nothing like the photos, spanked me a bit, hit me with my belt a few times and ended the "session" in 10 minutes. How did she know to do this if she wasn't you? Is your number 404-625-8662? I had talked to someone at that number before and after."

I really don't know how to deal with someone that is this mentally challenged and won't get on the phone . . . still trying to remove palm from face.