The “Word for Dominatrix before 1971?” thread and the Wikipedia link Mistress Cheyenne posted to it and Mistress Tissa’s new listing site, BDSMProfessionals.com, got me thinking. What are the qualities of a great traditional Mistresses? I don’t mean what their specialties are, their wardrobes or equipment. And for the sake of this discussion, this is about traditional Mistresses, not women who dabble in fetish from time to time.

Here are a few of mine, in no specific order, and I’d love to hear more:
Imagination (in all its many forms);
Beauty (“in the eye of the beholder” of course);
Seductiveness (similar to Beauty);
Passion (for the work and the scene);
Entrepreneurship (a must-have years ago, and even more today);
And Empathy (the ability to understand your clients, knowing how and when to push their buttons, when not to and being flexible to new ideas.)

In other words, a fine actress and performer, almost a therapist who has a feel for their clients, and shrewd business owner, and likely a few other qualities. The best Mistresses I have ever served were like matadors, or performing a Dominantrix version of “the dance of the seven veils,” seducing me with their beauty and using my lust against me. Many taken the “beast” part of my character (hence my screen name here) and used it against me to humiliate myself with activities I never thought I would perform, much less enjoy, for the Mistresses’ entertainment. I hope I am articulating this properly, because I mean all of it as high compliments to the Mistresses I have served over the years.

Honesty and integrity, both in their skillset and in their business dealings. This only works *long term* with some honesty and morals.

i think you pretty much nailed it

Concur.

Great question!

I agree with many of the attributes already mentioned by others. Certainly ethics and professional standards would be high on my list.

A great traditional Mistress would also have these qualities:

Highly skilled
Highly experienced
Very well equipped
A safe and attractive playspace
Excellent communication skills
A sense of humor
High degree of confidence

For me, these and the traits previously mentioned are the qualities of a great traditional Mistress.

I think you nailed it!

I agree. But I forgot "a sense of humor." Of course! Some of the best sessions I've had with Mistresses I've been a regular with always had a sense of humor - before and after the session as well as during.

I agree with you, Madam Jess. I place integrity probably at the top spot. Without honesty and integrity who cares about anything else?

Personally, I don't think a great Mistress is necessarily "seductive". That, to me, is the desire of a fetishist rather than a submissive.

I would add maturity, skill, intelligence, confidence, and putting up with all the goofballs, liars, game-players, manipulators, and abusers while managing to stay in the biz for more than 5 years.

From the client perspective, one who has sessioned with professional ladies for years, I disagree. The best I have had the pleasure of meeting are seductive, whether they are great actresses who really don't feel a connection with a client, or who, on some level, do connect with you. They draw you in and use the client's passion, lust, fetish... whatever to assert control and take the customer to other levels.

While it is a business for professional and traditional Mistresses, is is far from a scientific or psychological enterprise for the client. For many men like me it usually takes days, weeks - or for some first-timers years - to work yourself up emotionally and physically to reach out and have a session. Many emotions are exposed and can be played with by a great Mistress, and being seductive, either purposely by the domina or as just part of her personality, is a key quality I have experienced in my years in the scene.

When playing sub, it must be to someone who has a level of integrity that commands my respect. With mutual interests, everything else falls into place after that. When I'm playing top, which is most of the time, I want the cute butt, sweet face, puppy dog willingness and nice tits is icing on the cake. I am a complete pig when it comes to what I want in a bottom. But, to get on my knees and fully submit to another woman, it is all about what is between the ears.