So eros guide has just ended the ability to post BDSM ads, and are now charging upwards of $150 for an escort ad. I'm really interested in why they are making this change and where to advertise now. I'm on Tryst but I've gotten ZERO clients from there, Fetlife is garbage, and all the rest are escort sites. I'm not opposed to advertising on there sometimes but it's more timewasters I have to sort through, I hate having to explain to someone why BBJs are not a BDSM fetish interest...

Where are some other sites submissives find Dommes?

Eros has been dead for some time now. The last two attempts I made to coordinate a session from an ad were clearly scammers on the other end. I agree though, there are no real alternatives. Tryst and Privatedelights seem like crap too. I keeping looking there because there is nothing else.

But I have the same escort/bdsm problem as you, but obviously opposite. Women advertise they do bdsm, femdom, etc, but if I inquire about something as general as “femdom”, I usually won’t hear back because they are escorts onlly.

As a submissive in my late 40s that only does professional scenes, these are tough times. I’ve been active for 25+ years and it’s never been hander to find sincere pro dommes.

Times have changed and in this case not for the better. I wish I had some great suggestions or secret sauce to recommend to you, but as joe notes in his post there are no reliable sites to find a ProDomme.

The best I can hope for is to do a simple google search in a given city for "Dominatrix" and then look at the search results. I look for professional websites and other social media presence that demonstrate some experience and some expertise. Once I have a name I then search that specific Domme looking for any kinds of reviews or social media trail. I even search the review forum here and on MF to see if there is anything useful posted.

Assuming no red flags pop up, I reach out to her to request a session and to discuss the details, being careful to follow her protocols. If those conversations go well I go ahead and schedule the session. It is a lot of work and far from foolproof, but it's the best plan I've been able to come up with to compensate for the lack of reliable places to look for Domme advertisements.

I know it doesn't answer your question and sorry I couldn't be more help, but this is what we subs are reduced to!
Jack

Sorry I don’t have better suggestions. Tryst and Eros are my go to’s. Part of the problem with Tryst is they intermingled Dommes and Escorts so unless you use a filter you get both in your search results. I suspect most folks looking for escorts don’t bother to filter out BDSM

I use Session Girls occasionally. While it’s primarily for wrestling, I’ve found a few great Dommes there. I also like NiteFlirt and Tryst for finding a Domme. While they are strict on not scheduling via their sites, I find it a good place to find someone, then track her down via her website, email or Twitter to schedule. Though not sure most guys put that much effort in, lol.

Good advice. That is pretty much what I have always done. When this board, The Hang and AllStar Dommes were more active asking for advice often was helpful too.

I’m curious, if you’re getting no clients on Tryst, are any of these Dommes who charge $500, $700 or more, actually getting any clients who would pay that much, if it’s so hard for a DOMME to find paying customers?

I just went to eros to see and I do see at least some bdsm ads. Are they grandfathered in?

This is VERY interesting. Where did you read this? Did Eros send out an email or something? Because I ads are still up and I don't see any mention of them going away.




Eros died for me in 2018. I stopped advertising there in May of that year. This is because after they were raided by the government in November of 2017 everything went downhill. The people running it were embroiled in a law suit which some believe ended in a plea deal in which they must work with the FBI. Given how quickly various aspects of the site and their service changed, I believed this to be true. This is why I stopped using them. Working with FBI is just not something I want to hang around for, even if I'm operating within the law. (I had a creepy thing happen a couple of months ago which, to me, further confirms that they are a clandestine government op.)

My guess as to why they'd drop BDSM listings? Because they want to focus their resources on nabbing escorts. BDSM is just not lucrative. Having sex for money is explicitly against the law almost everywhere. Since we don't do that, we are just taking up space, a distraction, a waste of time.




Why does everyone forget about Dickie Virgin? They've been around since 1998 and are one of the top ranked sites on Google. I personally get a lot of traffic from there. And some people who book me say that's where they found me.



I've never been really interested in Tryst because it's an escort site with a token BDSM section. Still, I briefly considered just putting something up there as an experiment, to see what kind of clients I might get; but after I read their terms (as I always do), I had several questions. (One of their TOS involved something like reporting you to credit bureaus. WTF?) I had to ask them three times to answer and they finally did after like 6 months. That's a bad sign, so I decided to pass.



There is certainly a lot of trash on FetLife but there are some good people there, so I wouldn't write it off. I have also had people find me there and book sessions. Some great clients, in fact.

I always tell Dommes that a website is really the most important form of advertising you have. Don't rely on others providing space for you. Because if they fold you have nothing.

So, I have always focused on my site, and that is where most people find me.

Why do people not think about Googling someone?

Folx, try this:

1.Pull up a search engine. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, Google produces the most relevant and comprehensive results.

2. Type in some combination of Dominatrix/Domme/Mistress/FemDom/etc and the city or state you're looking for, such as "Boise FemDom".

3. If you're looking for a particular type of Domme, like a Mommy, Disciplinarian, Sadist, etc., or a particular type of scene, like heavy corporal, heavy bondage, prisoner, superhero, etc, then try adding those words. For example, "Charlotte Disciplinarian FemDom". Try different combinations of words.

4. If you find a Domme that interests you but she doesn't indicate she offers what you're looking for, look at her limits, and if you don't see it there, politely inquire.

Will you always find something this way? No. The Domme has to have a website, and she has to have decent SEO. This is why I stress the importance of having a site. It can be the difference between someone finding you and having no idea you exist. It also helps you stand out from the scammers and drive-by amateurs looking to make a little cash with entry-level play.

In addition to having an engaging website, I will suggest you have a somewhat active twitter update feed. One of the domme I see I found or was reminded of, shortly before our first visit, by her twitter feed letting me know she would be in my area in the next month.

A guy who follows dommes on twitter will be invited to view and follow a variety of other similar dommes. I "follow" 1 or 2 dozen mistresses on twitter and most of them whom I follow I "found" because twitter showed them to me or cause the first domme I was following reposted or retweeted some tweet or hers or quoted the other domme, in some way!

So I viewed her website or twitter feed and if I liked it, I added her as a person i was following!