ztrade, all of what you write says to me you still don't understand this.

If someone plans a scene around the inclusion or exclusion of a safeword that says to me they are not effective scene negotiators or scene executioners. Safewords are quick ways for someone to indicate they're in trouble and/or revoking consent. While a Domme can say she does not allow people to use a safeword (i.e. stop a scene), any ETHICAL, PROFESSIONAL Dominant or top must allow a client to stop a scene. If not, she or he faces the possibility of an assault charge. I'm sorry if that bums out your hard-on. It's the law.

That said, if you want a scene in which the Domme retains total control without ANY input from the sub then that is the scene you negotiate. If you negotiate whether or not someone gets to use a safeword that is because you don't understand how to negotiate power exchange. I have found that it is not uncommon that people -- including those who have been doing this for 30 or 40 years -- do not actually understand power dynamics. Not understanding power exchange is when people start saying things like, "I don't play with safewords." You have just told me you don't get what it means to submit to your Dominant and you're confusing that with safeword useage.

I have never had a client use a safeword. I have never had a client refuse a safeword. I don't allow it to be used because they want to steer me in a different direction or because I am giving them way too much of something and they want me to stop. If they need to do that then I'm probably pretty terrible at this.