Originally Posted By ztrade
there are dommes who clearly state that 1) either they do not allow for safewords in any session or 2) they do do CNC sessions . . . Some of these dommes are nationally travelled and nationally known or internationally known.


First of all, being internationally known doesn't mean you necessarily understand laws; or, as is also in your case, ztrade, the difference between fantasy and reality. wink

I have spoken about safewords in the past, but I'm going to briefly revisit the topic.

Some people believe that a safeword is a Domme on/off switch. That she is supposed to mindlessly whack you/humiliate you/mummify you/etc until you safeword out. In essence, some mistakenly think that it's some kind of way for the sub to retain control of the Domme and the scene. It's not. It's meant for something like a medical emergency, or if the Domme has a total misread of the sub (whether because the sub is a dead fish or because of a lack of skill) and the scene needs to change in a major way, or the bottom realizes they don't want to do any of this at all and would really like to go home now, thank you. It is used to stop the scene for a serious reason.

If a sub/bottom goes into a scene ready to safeword then the whole scene is being approached incorrectly.


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She says . . . I am "one of the [lovers] of corporal punishment . . . I do nt see first time players. . . I d’t permit safe words. . ."


Here's what this could mean:

1. She, like many other professionals, is appealing to fantasy. In this case, it's the fantasy of not having a way out. But, in truth, if you were to safeword, she would stop the scene. She *should* stop the scene.

2. She is indicating she is only interested in M/s corporal scenes. While safewords should still be honored, the expectation is different for this dynamic than in D/s.

3. She doesn't know what she's doing and honestly thinks she can keep you from revoking consent.


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She is American domme or mistress who has not been arrested or had legal problems from sessions, so far as we know


I didn't say that everyone who doesn't allow people to revoke consent *will be* arrested and charged with assault, I said they *could* be. Of course the sub/bottom would have to go to the police and file charges. "I told her to stop hitting me and she would not." = assault. If the client doesn't do this then no one will be charged. Either way, anyone who doesn't allow you to revoke consent is someone you should avoid. Being some famous FemDom doesn't mean you're above the law. It doesn't mean you get to abuse people.

I know that in some cases clients have not had their safewords and boundaries respected and it has had a sometimes profound effect of their ability to trust and enjoy themselves. I have had multiple clients come to me who have shared these types of experiences. Sometimes it can ruin their wanting to try any of this ever again.

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Maybe she is breaking the law in half her sessions, but no one gets to complaining!


We really don't know what is happening before, during, and after those scenes. Once in a while we hear about a pro Domme in the news, don't we? A Financial Domination exchange involving blackmail (this is called extortion and it is always against the law), some erotic asphyxiation that ended in death, or for going along with some priest's invitation to play in a church.

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there seem to be others and I have seen 1 or more of them, who either have a no safeword policy or do CNC sessions in which they won't stop till they feel they are done or you are done.


I'm completely aware of this approach. Some Dommes present themselves very heavily steeped in fantasy; it's their brand. But saying that you don't allow safewords does not actually mean you don't allow them. It's just a way to attract certain kinds of clients who want certain kinds of scenes. Because you have shown in your posts that you have trouble understanding that everything-you-see-on-TV-is-not-real, this may be why you are confused here.


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There are people such as I who would tend to see such mistresses and I am pretty sure there are a dozen or so on each coast. ... either she is lying about some of her sessions or there are many which are nonconsensual with a guy having asked her to stop at some point.


It's not necessarily "lying", it's likely just marketing.