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#18694 - 04/23/23 05:30 PM domme ethics & trickery
ztrade Online   content
Enthusiast

Registered: 10/26/15
Posts: 371
Which dommes, if any, use some trickery or deceit to get some things or get consent for some things or to steer a session her way? Or, do dommes try to be mostly hnnest and straightforward in terms of having sessions go the way discussed?

Which dommes, if any, bring in ideas or parts of scene, not discussed, based on the idea that the sub/guy probably or ought to go for it and try it to see if he will like it or appreciate it?

If you are a sub, has any domme tricked or deceived you in some way, to get what she wanted in a session? Was it a good thing or a bad thing? Did it ruin things so you never saw her again, or did it create adventure and excitement and the desire to see her again?

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#18703 - 04/24/23 12:02 AM Re: domme ethics & trickery [Re: ztrade]
nysubjack Online   content
Regular

Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 173
I think your question is a little confusing, at least for me and my style of play.

When contacting a Domme for the first time, I have always had an honest exchange of my interests, and more importantly of my hard limits. My interests are defined in broad terms, things like CBT, NT, heavy bondage etc. I am very content to leave the details to her for how she chooses to explore those interest. There have been Dommes who have taken the time to chat with me about my hard limits and to explain how they could be safely expanded and that has also worked well. I have far fewer hard limits that when I first started seeing Dommes.

Mistress Troy Orleans wrote an excellent post on her website about playing from "yes". To her that simply means that the sub should always be willing to try new things that could expand their experiences and interests. For example, a sub could say that they want to experience CBT, but to expand that she might decide to do some play piercing as part of that scene. That kind of trust of course comes from a longer term commitment to a Domme.

Not sure what you mean by a Domme using trickery or deceit to get what she wanted in a session. Honest communication, mutual trust and a sincere effort from me to play from "yes" has always worked pretty well to create sessions where I and the Domme finish feeling that the session worked well for us both.

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#18704 - 04/24/23 03:06 AM Re: domme ethics & trickery [Re: ztrade]
Mistress Tissa Online   content

Sage

Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 838
Loc: Philadelphia
Originally Posted By ztrade
Which dommes, if any, use some trickery or deceit to get some things or get consent for some things or to steer a session her way? Or, do dommes try to be mostly hnnest and straightforward in terms of having sessions go the way discussed?

Which dommes, if any, bring in ideas or parts of scene, not discussed, based on the idea that the sub/guy probably or ought to go for it and try it to see if he will like it or appreciate it?


If this is a follow up to your previous question, let me clarify that I, and other Dommes who may like to bring activities into our scenes that have not been explicitly negotiated, should not be assumed to be using "trickery".

I play intelligently and ethically. I know how to negotiate a scene. I know how to be a Dominant. Therefore, I don't need to use trickery.

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#18710 - 04/24/23 10:53 PM Re: domme ethics & trickery [Re: ztrade]
FleeceJohnson Offline
Member

Registered: 04/24/23
Posts: 4
I haven't come across any that do this. I've been let down with some sessions where the domme seemed to not want to do strapon play and claimed I wasn't properly prepared, despite doing it the same way every time and getting many compliments on how I did it after strapon play. Same scenario though... they basically start with a dildo not on a harness and then make that claim. It's only been two, both younger types.

This is probably the biggest dissapointment to me. I've had a newer domme who decided to whip me and use a spike rolling wheel device in a chopping manner on me and cause blood, but other than that, I've found dommes respect limits and don't introduce trickery.

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