Yes, Beautiful Lady, we most certainly do. It doesn't make either one right or wrong in the way we approach deeply personal relationships.

Ms Tissa
My impression is that you feel a wife/partner deserves to at least hear the truth....and let the cards fall where they may. Hopefully in a direction that benefits both partners.

The concern is that once the cat is out of the bag, there's no getting it back in there if the honesty doesn't go well.

If Im honest with my wife and mention she's put on a couple of pounds....it's probably not going to go over well, so I often choose to say nothing.

I suspect that most guys have given there partner an inkling of their desires, which may not have been met with a positive result....so they reeled it back in with a laugh, before it blew up.

So my question is...what do you do if the honesty blows up?

Your thoughts are of particular interest, not just because you're a professional, but you are also a woman who speaks her truth.
I don't think your thoughts are the same as most women. I have seven sisters and they don't think like you. I wish they did.

It would be interesting to hear from a woman whose husband was honest with her about his kinky desires. How did she feel about it?



The question of cheating has many tentacles. To each his own.
Best Regards
The Driver

That’s it exactly. I know my wife. I could write a short story on this but I will just say we’ve had a happy marriage that’s resulted in some amazing kids and family and it is not now nor was it in the past worth jeopardising this by confessing my kink.

Thanks for the compliment(?) but it sounds patronizing in this context.

Of course I believe that the person who has extended a great deal of trust to you and agreed to build a relationship together with you deserves to know the truth about things which affect her and that relationship. It's axiomatic.



Why are people entering into partnerships in which they have to keep the cat in the bag? I personally would never do that. Why would I ever want to knowingly and willingly attempt to share a life with someone who I don't think would accept me? It's fundamentally illogical.



My goodness. A woman gaining a couple of pounds is not analogous to you cheating on her.



I have counseled men about this issue. I've offered suggestions about how to approach their partner. I applaud these men for wanting to do the right thing. When we're coming up with a plan I tell them to be prepared that she may not react well. This is because when we as humans are faced with a surprise or something we don't understand we tend to instinctively react with fear. But that it's important to know that her, or anyone's, initial reaction is not necessarily an indicator of how those feelings will progress and resolve. It does not mean she won't come to accept it. It does not mean she won't end up wanting to explore kink with you.

In fact, one of my current clients told me that when he told his partner about his kinky interests she was initially very negative and judgmental. But, after speaking with her more about it, she softened and ended up wanting to try it out with him. Now, she is actually really into it and it's contributed to the deepening of their bond.



You talk about it, like adults. If needed, you get counseling. If you both are committed to making the relationship work you will find the solution. However, if it's built on an illusion then may learn that you don't actually have a real connection to begin with.



Yes, I'm a professional but first and foremost I'm an actual Dominant woman, and my participation in this and other forums is driven by this. I don't think some of you men realize how you undermine your lives. (Women do this, too, of course.) I have read countless posts and had many conversations with men who say how much they would love to be with a Dominant woman, like me, yet openly express attitudes and opinions which repel women like me.



You don't need to worry about "most women". You just need to worry about the one you're with.



Was she kinky? Because, gentlemen, if you're kinky and being able to explore and express that is important to you, then you should be looking for a kinky partner. I can't imagine trying to form a relationship with a person who wasn't kinky. It feels like a failure before it even begins!

Ms Tissa
Your opinions are well reasoned and provocative. Most of what you say makes perfect sense.....if we lived in a perfect world.

When I negotiated labor contracts, I learned that if one person tells you you're dead...don't worry, but if ten people tell you, you should lay down.
The lack of responses to your post tell me I probably ought to go take a nap.
Best Regards
The Driver

No, we don't, but sometimes people choose to create their own imperfect world.



Enjoy your nap. It's a great place to escape.

I have played for over 15 years and now am in a very committed loving relationship...she knows I am kinky but doesn't have a masochistic bone in her body...I am at a loss with what to do...I am very faithful

I'm not sure what you're asking for.

Do I shut down my sessions forever or do I schedule one with you I have never been in this situation where I am dating exclusively and wanted to get rid of the itch...