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#17918 - 10/10/22 08:10 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: TedBCruisin]
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Regular
Registered: 07/25/19
Posts: 101
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Sentence 1: Check Sentence 2: Check Sentence 3: Check Sentence 4: I am not that sure about this one. Being open can hurt. But you formulated it smartly "...couldn't be completely open...". You don't say that your intention is to be completely open. (About "to do it again": I have the best spouse! I don't want to do it again)
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#17920 - 10/11/22 11:12 AM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: Mistress Tissa]
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Addict
Registered: 06/15/19
Posts: 458
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As tough as it is to acknowledge, it's a form of cheating if you do not tell them. Yes.
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#17923 - 10/11/22 09:51 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: international]
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Sage
Registered: 07/08/16
Posts: 1051
Loc: Detroit
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You are correct that I don't think there is much doubt about whether the activity is "cheating" on a spouse if you are doing it without their knowledge and consent (since, in most cases, you don't bring it up because you innately understand they wouldn't consent to that and would consider it cheating).
However, I am not making a value judgement about whether the activity is wrong or not as circumstances absolutely play into that. There are many cases that this "outside" activity is truly helpful to the relationship between a man and his spouse. By removing that need/pressure, especially when the spouse is totally against those activities, you allow both parties to be happier.
But, that doesn't mean it still isn't "cheating" by pretty much everyone's definition outside of yourself.
_________________________
Asp
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#17927 - 10/12/22 06:09 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: international]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 775
Loc: Philadelphia
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You imply that it is (or at least might be) cheating, but as soon as you tell your spouse it is not cheating anymore. I think you're trying to split hairs. I don't think people would read the SlaveGunner's question and assume he was saying that if you're cheating and then tell your spouse it's magically no longer cheating.
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#17928 - 10/12/22 06:17 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: TedBCruisin]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 775
Loc: Philadelphia
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"It is withholding information that your spouse wouldn't like. However, it is definitely better than burdening your wife with needs she wouldn't understand." This is a very egocentric view. Some guys haven't even given their partner a chance to understand, but they are certain she would not. What I think is often the case is that the guy lacks the courage to discuss it with her. Gentlemen, you owe it not only to your partner but yourself to be honest about your needs. You will both be much happier. "To do it again, I wouldn't marry a woman I couldn't be completely open with." This is great, but you can be open with her now.
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#17929 - 10/12/22 07:32 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: AspX]
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Regular
Registered: 07/25/19
Posts: 101
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Fair statement - I can agree.
And congratulation to your 1000st post here!
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#17939 - 10/13/22 12:23 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: TedBCruisin]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 06/21/19
Posts: 385
Loc: USA
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That is amazingly well put.
_________________________
And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo
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#17941 - 10/13/22 04:53 PM
Re: Thoughts?
[Re: TedBCruisin]
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Sage
Registered: 11/02/15
Posts: 775
Loc: Philadelphia
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Everyone owes it to themselves and cherished partners to conduct their relationships in the best way they see fit for their unique situation. It seems we have a fundamental difference of opinion on what it means to "cherish" someone.
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