If you are married...is seeing a domme cheating if you don't tell your spouse? Would like to hear opinions from dommes and subs on this?

As tough as it is to acknowledge, it's a form of cheating if you do not tell them.

Concur

100%

Think this statement I found on the web pretty much sums it up:



Seeing/playing with a Domme, lifestyle or pro, without your partner's consent absolutely falls into this definition.

Sorry, but this definition is not really helpful.

According to it, screaming emotionally at another person would usually be considered cheating.

Let's initially leave the "cheating" on the side and focus on the "don't tell..."
A good friend once said that if her husband were cheating on her, she definitely would not want him to tell her. Because as soon as he did so, it would become her responsibility. Whereas him, he could then say "my wife knows it".

Interestingly with your statement "... if you don't tell your spouse" you exactly emphasize this.
You imply that it is (or at least might be) cheating, but as soon as you tell your spouse it is not cheating anymore.

Huh?

I realize we are arguing semantics here but in what way would screaming emotionally at another person translate into either "being emotionally unfaithful to your partner" or "Being emotionally intimate"?

I couldn't care less that you decided to nitpick a definition I pulled from a website, but your response is just bizarre to me.

I agree that "telling" on yourself, meaning after it happens, is an incredibly selfish act and actually worse than the cheating itself in a lot of ways... but it is/was still absolutely cheating whether you tell or not.

Talking about it and getting agreement/permission beforehand or having a conversation after you get caught (whether she found out or you told her) and getting that agreement/permission, on the other hand, is what takes it out of the realm of cheating.

I agree, it is semantics, but that's what definitions are. Intimate has different meanings, including "closely acquainted; familiar..." And to me it really makes the definition overly broad and not helpful.

But I see, you have a clear opinion that it is cheating. I don't think it is that clear-cut.
For me personally the biggest concerns are: a) I could catch a disease and somehow pass it on to my spouse. b) I am spending my money, but I could put it into a pension fund instead, so I funnel funds away.

What I mean is that "cheating or not" is much more a question of the individual circumstances than a random definition pulled from the web. My criteria in the end are whether I do harm to the relationship with my spouse. I understand that this is not synonym to cheating, but a more helpful question than getting a black-or-white yes or no to the question of whether it cheating.

Who cares what it is called. It is withholding information that your spouse wouldn't like. However, it is definitely better than burdening your wife with needs she wouldn't understand. To do it again, I wouldn't marry a woman I couldn't be completely open with.