This sounds like a bad deal i hope you get your deposit back. Since she is an established pro i’m wondering if its just an oversight and some communication clears this up. But if not, i see nothing wrong with pushing a little more for it. Maybe a review etc.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. You never know what is going on in their life.

That said, if you give a Domme (or a client) AMPLE opportunity to respond (more than a month, at least) and rectify something like this and they don't it does not seem unreasonable to disclose your experience publicly. Whether a Domme or a client.

If either the Domme or the client doesn't like it, then do a better job.

Of course, there's always the possibility someone is lying. So we hope that everyone is being a grown-up here and telling the truth. Some of us have had Dommes or clients make up shit about us and people may believe it.

So, if you decide to disclose an experience like this, use a lot of discretion.

Yes. This is why more and more people in the adult industry require deposits. It's just not sustainable to open yourself up to what will inevitably be several losses (I'm talking tangible financial loss) because there will always be a percentage of guys who have no qualms just not showing up for their appointments that we have prepared 2 to 8 hours for.

It is in some jurisdictions. New Jersey is one of them.

Some of you gentlemen set yourselves up to be scammed because you're not smart enough to vet the women you approach.

Of course this does not mean you deserve to be taken advantage of but you certainly could drastically reduce, if not eliminate, it happening if you didn't try to conduct business when you're suffering from Boner High.

You are always free to refuse to pay deposits. Just know that it will mean there is a whole swath of top-notch Dommes that you will never be able to experience.

That has to be a frustrating and infuriating experience sitting in your space as the appointment time comes and goes with no call or sign of the client. I can see why deposits are required. At least you’ve got something for the time invested in traveling to the space and preparing.

Something no one else has mentioned...

Have you both only been connecting through email? Recently (especially with Protonmail) emails have been randomly going to spam even after some previous successful correspondence (especially if you havn't saved each other as a contact). There's a possibility your emails are going to spam (or vise versa) and one of you aren't realizing. Have you tried contacting her on SP again?

Good one!

I 100% agree with those that say you should ask for your money back. Don't let this go. Besides, it's more about your time and emotions (looking forward to the session and then let down by being ghosted). This behavior is not the norm among established Dommes, I assure you. And it doesn't matter what the reason is. She should refund your deposit and offer an apology - and a spiff. Free fan site access - something. That is what a professional would do in a circumstance like this.

Very true. I never asked for deposits up until about 3-4 years ago. Then the industry changed and ghosting by clients became common place. And I learned you can't just ask for $50 - they will walk away from that. They walk away for $200 sometimes but at least I got something for the effort and blocked time.

Right now I have a guy wanting a double Domme session with 3-4 vanillas and he won't put up a deposit ("for privacy reasons") and he doesn't have references ("he's been out of the see for too long"). He may be perfectly legit but I am not going to block Dungeon time, my time, another Domme's time and line up multiple friends to watch on his word.