That is the issue I'm having with it. A little spanking or being dominant in vanilla sex is fine with me. It is the degradation part. When it comes to worshiping a sexy pair of feet and legs, I feel honored. Not degraded. But when my my fiance suggests that she worship or even rub mine, it a total turn off. I'm embarrassed for her. That is hypocritical thinking. Eroticism doesn't always make sense. When the time is right I will talk to her. She's still finding her way with bdsm.