The concept of "Domme Space" was something i had never thought of, or known about, until a Dominatrix i know well and serve talked to me about it after a session.

As i understand it the Dominatrix, that you the sub, are in session with, joins the sub in, for lack of a better term, a parallel universe in session i.e. the sub has fallen into deep sub space and the Domme has risen into the heights of Domme Space.

When this happened it changed things my understanding of how amazing a "real " session can be, especially when the Mistress and her sub have a long standing relationship like We/we do.

i never understood how different We/we would feel after Our/our session was over. i understood the cerebral heights that D/s can take people both as Individuals/individuals and as a Couple/couple

i am looking to create some discussion and share knowledge in this thread between subs and Dommes.

The best way to start this type of discussion is to ask questions.

Here are some questions for the Dommes:

How often do Dommes get to experience Domme Space?

What creates the type of session that can take a Dominatrix into Domme Space?

Can Domme Space happen in the first session, the fifth session or is it something that grows out of a years long relationship.

What can subs/sissies/sluts do to help the Domme reach Domme Space?

Once a Dominatrix reaches Domme Space with a sub in session , is it more likely that future sessions will be as rewarding for the Domme?

Questions for the subs/sissies/sluts

Are you aware of the concept of Domme Space?

Has any Domme ever talked about a session afterwards and explained how that session took Her into Domme Space?

i look forward to hearing Your/your thoughts.

I told two Mistresses that I have served over the years that I was in "deep subspace." And I was. Neither discussed the subject directly.
For the first one, a mature Mistress, mentioned her "alter ego" taking over in session and I knew exactly what she meant. She was always reserved and, even in phone calls or outside of sessions, she was in control of me.
To a lesser extent a Mistress I knew for a long time, who was a few years her junior, was always in control. As I evolved with her and accepted (relished) more and more fetishes and went deeper into "subspace" you could tell she was turned on by it more and more.
There was a possibility of an actual relationship with one of the Mistresses... maybe both but I am not sure. The bottom line is in both cases I would have to remain a sub, in real life outside of sessions. As I said in another post about such matters, that's an impossible situation. At least for me.

you have broached a topic close to My heart, gls. Here are My answers to your questions. Each Mistress is different so do not take the answers as any kind of norm or stock answer.

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How often do Dommes get to experience Domme Space? Difficult to answer as you will probably be able so see why by My other answers.

What creates the type of session that can take a Dominatrix into Domme Space? A feedback loop that builds. I lead you to a place and you go there and are fed by it. I see that I was able to take you there and am fed by it. This loop continues in a session and builds upon itself. As a result you go deeper into subspace and I go higher into Domme space.

Can Domme Space happen in the first session, the fifth session or is it something that grows out of a years long relationship. It can happen in any session - including the first - if the connection is there.

What can subs/sissies/sluts do to help the Domme reach Domme Space? Don't top from the bottom. Truly submit and relinquish yourself to the Domme's desires. Give adequate feedback (mostly non verbal) so the Domme can know you are going where She is leading.

Once a Dominatrix reaches Domme Space with a sub in session , is it more likely that future sessions will be as rewarding for the Domme? I would say YES.

A few things I would like to add:

It takes trust on both sides to truly reach a pinnacle in session. Some subs are naturally trusting and it's easy for them to let go, even in a first session. If a sub is constantly worried if a Domme is going to overstep a set boundary or worried they are not going to "get what they want" from a session the likelihood that either the sub or the Domme will reach their desired headspace is unlikely.

Longer sessions facilitate My reaching Domme space. It's a process that takes time and requires a build up. That is one of the reasons I don't care for one hour sessions. I can have fun in a short session, but to really get to that inner realm, it takes a minimum of 2 hours - usually.

A good session that allows both the sub and the Domme to reach their respective headspaces is like a dance. If I try to lead and you step on My toes, we won't get there. If you try to lead, we won't get there. If we meld with each other and become as one - that's when the dance becomes magic.

The one thing you didn't ask was how Domme space feels. I am sure this is different for different individuals and I hope other Mistresses will chime in and give their impression. I must start by saying something that most people wouldn't expect. I am extremely empathetic which is one reason I think I am able to reach Domme space to begin with. I go on a journey with My subs. In My own way I feel their pain, struggle, humiliation, fear, joy, pride, etc. When I am in Domme space time has no meaning. I am lost in the joy of feeling what I have created. It's powerful and humbling all at once.

Recently I had a heavy S&M session that took the sub farther than he had ever gone. He was on the verge of using a safeword and I instructed him to "take it for Me" and he did. After the final cane stroke I was light headed - euphoric. So was he. We literally had to take a break and eat a small snack in order to ground ourselves again. This is just one example of Domme space. Hope it helps.

Mistress Ayn,

Thank You for adding to this discussion. i learned a lot from Your explanation about Domme Space and interestingly enough i had reinforced (one again) why "topping from the bottom" is so counterproductive.

i never thought to ask how Domme Space feels thank Your for adding that to Your reply.


i wasn't completely off base about a great session when i described it as as follows:

As i understand it the Dominatrix, that you the sub, are in session with, joins the sub in, for lack of a better term, a parallel universe in session i.e. the sub has fallen into deep sub space and the Domme has risen into the heights of Domme Space.

Your post has enlightened me and given all of Us/us more understanding of the magical interlude that sometimes is created in Session

Thank You

gls

This is why, for me, switch sessions can be a huge mind-fuck for me. My favorite type of session is where I start out dominant, and dominate her until I get into a nice dominant headspace. And then, she challenges me a little bit verbally, I move to discipline her, and with one swift move -- it has to be something radical, like grabbing and squeezing my balls really hard, or smacking them and then when I bend over penetrating my ass with a fingertip -- she asserts and gains control.

There's about 3-5 seconds in there that is one of the most heart-pounding thrills in all of bdsm for me ... that transition from, "I'm dominant, I own this bitch, I'm gonna f--" to "yes mistress I'm your bitch!", that happens SO FAST, is unbelievable. It is a completely different experience than just walking in, already feeling slightly submissive, and then transitioning into subspace from there.

Funny you should bring that up. In another recent thread I mentioned that "switching horses midstream" is often a bit awkward for me. Definitely not the high point of the session.

The switch is so jarring, I can see it being a "love it or hate it" thing. I think it's delicious, it literally makes me feel dizzy

Excellent discussion and I have been to subspace and lucky enough to deliver Dommespace or Topspace to a few Dommes. Mistress Ayn, I am very excited to submit and to completely surrender to you and Mistress Ultra Violet in 3 weeks. I know this will be an epic session and will do my best to serve you both well.

Last week I sessioned with Mistress Dahlia of Freehold,New Jersey.
We did a mummification session. I have done this session with many other Mistresses and never was deeper in sub space ever before.

I do not use the phrase domme space as the ability of the domme and the chemistry has everything to do with the experience.

It is rare that the domme has you so in her control that she can make you do anything. When you totally let go and allow her to take complete control and then you may experience deep deep sub space.

I hope you find it,
wolf

Yep. The way I'd describe it is that it's a Zen-like experience where I am completely engaged in the moment and am completely connected to my sub. My mind experiences what people call "flow". My spontaneity and creativity really turns on. I don't think, I do. It feels like a drug high.



1. I'd like it to happen every session, but it probably happens somewhere around 25% of the time.

2. I have noticed that when I perceive a person really letting go and trusting me -- truly submitting -- I am much more likely to move into Dommespace.

3. It has happened in my first session with someone before.

4. I can't speak for the way that other Dommes experience this, but for me, it helps when someone is committed to trusting me and accepting what I am doing unconditionally. That seems to help launch me. Signs that you are analyzing the session or being too casual with me will definitely prevent me from going into Dommespace -- and probably also prevent you from going into subspace.

5. I think it increases it, yes. But, in my experience, it does not mean I will experience it with that same client every time we session.