I feel like there's a lot of "The ProDomme scene isn't what it used to be" talk going around... and you know what, you're absolutely right. It's not.

Times have changed and we are forced to change with it or be left behind. Long gone are the days where a ProDomme can put one ad on a site, have one method of contact, and take sessions all day long with open and last minute availability.

Times have changed. Everything is online, and newsflash:

THE INTERNET HATES US NOW.

We are constantly fighting algorithms that try to ban us. Emails and newsletters send our replies to spam. The platforms that profited off us yesterday might shut us off tomorrow.

I remember absolutely thriving with my one backpage ad and a couple of pictures. Maybe once in a blue I'd take a call on Niteflirt. I'd get emails from clients and be able to see them the same day.

That is simply not possible in today's world.

I won't speak for other Dommes, but I'm CONSTANTLY working. I work a 55 hour workweek on average despite how efficient I've made my processes.

Why? Because it's no longer one job. It's 10.

I am model, photographer, advertiser, content creator, editor, marketer, admin, cleaner, researcher, and sometimes when I'm done with all that I get to smack some butts around.

I was able to knock off 5 things from my 12-thing to-do list today after my sessions. I took a break to read the hang and pet my cats. Guess I'll fix my website get to my 32 emails tomorrow. Will I ever set up my new camera? Doubt it. There's that scammer using my pics too that I need to DMCA-- Oh crap, my nails need re-doing. Literally have to work before I can work.

The point of this post:

1) honestly, to rant. Hahahaha. Can you tell I've had a stressed day?

2) To give those on the other side an understanding as to why sometimes we take a while to reply. It's not because we're lazy or hate what we do. I still love this job and couldn't see myself doing anything else. Just please, have a bit of patience with us sometimes.


Thanks for reading.


Edit: Shoutout to MissMichelle who touched on this topic in a different forum and probably said what I said but much more professionally.

Self-employment really forces the hustle mentality and keeps a lingering stress in the back of the brain that comes with the job.



Is this a reoccurring thing in your experience? I would expect someone thats able to run their own business to be disciplined enough to be timely. Of course, sometimes things happen that we're not in control of but that's the rare occurrence (and not every Domme respects others time, but those people are the 1%)

If lateness is a big factor for you, I would politely say that in the email. Maybe that would light the fire under someone who lags a bit behind lol

Here here! What an erudite definition of what we actually do. Sometimes I feel it's like spinning plates.

A friend saw my home office for the first time and said, "You have an office? What for?". I told her I spend 80% of my time there, not the Dungeon and she was shocked. The fantasy of what we do is pervasive.

I wholeheartedly agree with your reply to nomasks too. If a Domme is habitually late, maybe you need to find another Domme or house. My go to Dommes for doubles are always on time and prepared. In my experience those that aren't on time and prepared, aren't the best Dommes.

DommeLynx and Mistress Ayn, I've observed and been part of the discussion on MF concerning this issue. I'm a longtime sub that has been in and out and in of the scene for decades. I came out of the live session, print / audio era. (I say "audio" because before the internet if a regular called his Mistress to check in there were sometimes... well flirting... the beginnings of phone session business.)

With the internet, plus Covid, if you are in any business that has traditionally involved live performance you are spending way, WAY more hours learning about new ways to interact with customers via social media and the web. You are spending more time preparing for a session than actually delivering the service live or virtually. When you figure overhead, time spent, etc. $300 an hour or whatever is a lot less than that in terms of profit.

When you include the Covid inflation of the past two years subs have complained about pricing. The imminent Ukraine inflation shocks to come will only accellerate subs shock. I began to go online and check session rates and they have accellerated dramatically. And I understand both sides. No matter how you love any profession or hobby, the bottom line.

Virtual sessions may be the way to go for many subs who can't afford live. And live sessions may be considered a luxury. It's just the way it probably will be. Good luck to all.

I heard about Mistress Michelle Lacy's throw-down on MF and took a look. I cheered as I read it. Briefly considered logging into that cesspool to comment, but...eh.




I've been a pro for 7 years (i.e. not before many of the commonly used platforms were in place), and so I don't know what it was like to do this work in a pre-social-media or even pre-internet environment, but I do remember what it was like to do other jobs and things in those environments.

I think one thing the internet has done is made us feel more impatient and entitled. And that is already an issue when it comes to sexual gratification. We become horny and we want release. Now or you're an ugly whore and I didn't want to session with you anyway. This seems to only have gotten worse as various technologies and platforms are created around those demands. This inevitably has and will continue to shape expectations and have an impact on how we do our work.

All those wistful stories I've read about how Dommes were in the 70s, 80s, or 90s? Where are the subs of the 70s, 80s, or 90s? Because you complain about how Dommes are "not what they used to be", but neither are you.

Which brings me to my next point that I think it's also a generational thing. I've noticed that older clients treat it more like magic, addressing me respectfully, sometimes getting on their knees when they arrive to show reverence, bringing gifts. Younger clients treat it more causally. The cultural element of FemDom and ritual is missing for them. I had a client in his 20s actually ask for change when he handed me cash for a tribute.

And when it comes to gifts, I don’t know about other Dommes, but that’s changed, too. It used to be that most subs would bring them – especially for their first session – or send a tribute here and there for all sorts of fun reasons. "I had a dream about you, Mistress, and I thought I should send a tribute to you for it." That’s just not happening anymore.
But this isn’t about gifts, per se. It's about the magic of coming to see a/your Domme and how gifts can be a part of that energy. To show us that you find it special enough to inspire you to go a little above and beyond, which in turn inspires us.

So, as much as I see guys complain, I completely understand why more and more erotic professionals move their content behind a paywall, or who might offer clients fewer privileges when coming for in-person sessions. It's because all the impatience and entitlement are translating to how we're treated.

You want a Goddess but you treat her like garbage? Good luck with that, buddy.

But maybe this is just my experience. (The pandemic surely has something to do with behavior in the last couple of years, too, but I think much of this still applies.)




The internet has only liked us as far as they could make money from us. When things start leaning a little too much in our favor (and by that I mean women), they want to remind us who they want us to believe we're owned by. Women are reclaiming a little too much power nowadays. Gotta yank that leash.




This is very much a real struggle for us. It's very hard to think about how to Do The Hot Thing when you're just fighting to keep the space to Do The Hot Thing. You don't know if your next tweet is going to be your last. You could get flagged and your account of X years -- and all the work that went into it -- is permanently gone. It makes a lot of us cranky, on edge. And then we get complaints about dumb shit or not even a lousy $10 tribute to say thanks for all the free stuff you enjoy that we bust our asses over? Here, enjoy some political posts! Hope they kill your boner!




I have always been the "I'll just do everything myself" type of person. So I can't imagine not having 10 jobs. At least I know everything we be done the way I want it. :>

Hi Domme Lynx:

Having briefly served as a personal slave to a pro, I can understand your frustration with the Internet side of things. SESTA/FOSTA has made marketing oneself on the Internet hell on earth. It's impossible to know how to approach it because the rules are incredibly vague, like one big grey area that keeps on shifting and changing depending on what day it is. I think that's by design so they can make the rules mean anything they want and change how they're interpreted on a whim. You have my sympathies and respect for the challenges you face in your chosen profession. Thanks for sharing.

Hi Mistress Tissa:

Your post made me feel good about being an older client. It's really true. There is something magical about doing this, but only when it's done correctly. Approach and attitude make all difference. It's a bit like the Wizard of Oz. "Click your heels together three times and say 'There's no place like home' and you'll be there."

Don't get me wrong. I have some wonderful younger clients. But my older clients tend to have a different perspective that makes everything feel more special. And I appreciate this because we are exploring fantasies together, after all.