I’ve been in these shoes for years and I don’t like it but I came to terms with it years ago. I regret having a secret life from my wife but I’ve had these masochist and submissive desires as far back as I can remember. My earliest memories really. My marriage isn’t perfect but it’s decent and we get along and have done well in a lot of ways. It’s obviously not ideal to have to live like this but it is what it is.
I’ve compartmentalised it pretty well.
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And still trying to figure it all out.................. buffalo