This could be a situation that a kink friendly sex therapist could help you work through.

I too have seen pro Dommes while in a relationship and have felt the guilt but also justified it as a i only live once. It’s a tough dilemma.

With that being said a few years ago i made the decision that i would tell my partners about my kink desire as well as my desire for an open relationship and to visit pro Dommes. Everyone has to make the best decision for themselves but for me it was freeing. I have found almost universal acceptance on kink and fetish it has actually helped my dating life as it makes me stand out. The open relationship has been tougher but its out there. There are pros and cons to work through but it has a positive impact on my life.