The reason dommes and subs seek anonymity is the same, being outed can be a risk to their family or professional life. What you are referring as a scene name I would call it a brand name once you attain the reputation Domme Lynx is talking about. Until then it is an alias both sides use when meeting each other.

Not all the mistresses have achieved this reputation, some don't have the time or resources to do these checks, again this is a large world, we each make our own choices which probably make sense for us and we live by them.

For me anybody who would want to know my name without being willing to give me theirs would raise a red flag.